He wasn't man enough for me

Hello my faithful readers:

After such a BEAUTIFUL weekend, I'm savoring the great weather we're having here in NYC this week. Work is still a little nutty because I'm only in the office a couple of times this week. Tomorrow I head to Manchester, TN to do a site check; on Friday I'll be heading home to Georgia to hang with the family and watch my baby sister graduate from Pharmacy School (finally we have a Doctor in the family)! :o)

Here's a quick update on the date on Saturday with Mr. Ex - we finally mutually agreed (OK I made it VERY CLEAR) that we probably are better off remaining friends. I'm glad that we spent the day together because we've only hung out in 2-3 hour increments, before our marathon date on Saturday. Spending the day with a person really makes a difference and I am quite happy that we did it. It was a good test and I realize now that there were a few (BIG) things about him that I tended to ignore before because I only saw the behavior occasionally within our 2-3 hour dates.

We met up at Central Park and I have to say that it was a great day to be in the park (the weather was gorgeous) and I don't think I've ever seen so many people there before. We started to walk a little deeper into the park and a dog barks at him as we walk by. I have NEVER seen a man jump out of his skin as much as he did. From that moment on I was watching a little more closely because I thought he's scared of a dog? While we were walking through the park, I took the opportunity to ask a few more questions about him and I finally asked what his mysterious 2nd part-time job was and he grudgingly admitted that he's a barista (for Starbucks). He says he is planning to quit this job soon, but if he needs to make his bills who am I to judge? I recognize that times are hard for lots of people right now.

After spending several hours in the park and talking we headed down to Soho for some pizza at Lombardi's. This is where I realized that the coy behavior he'd exhibited before (calling me the boss and saying that whatever I wanted was what he wanted) drove me absolutely nutty. Here's a little sample of our dialogue at dinner:

Me: Do you like pizza?

Him: I like whatever you like

Me: What kind of pizza do you like?

Him: I like whatever you like, you're the boss!

Me: Do you drink soft drinks? If so what kind because I was thinking we could order a pitcher together?

Him: I drink them sometimes, I'll drink whatever you want to order.

After dealing with this type of exchange all day (even putting together what we were going to do for the day went that way), I just couldn't take it anymore. I ordered the meal when he was in the bathroom and decided I'd just grin and bear it for the rest of the date. I asked him some questions one of which was why he thought I should get into a relationship with him. Although his answer was not bad "Because I'll never disappoint you," his demeanor during this talk bothered me a lot. It's something I'd noticed before, but ignored. He covered his mouth with both his hands when he talked to me about anything serious and averted his eyes to some point behind me (and off to the side). Both of these body language tells REALLY bother me because when I speak to a person I like to make direct eye contact and covering your mouth indicates that you're not being totally honest.

After a yummy pepperoni pizza, I suggested we walk around a little bit more. We walked down towards Canal Street and then back up to the village. I was a little quiet throughout the day, but I would point out interesting landmarks for him and whenever I had a question I'd ask. As we were walking back up to the West Village he mentioned for the umpteenth time that if I was tired we could head in (I told him a few times earlier that day I'd let him know when I was ready to head in). At that point I said "OK" and headed for the train station.

It was at the train where he asked for a kiss instead of just giving one. For me it wasn't really that he asked, but it was more of how he asked that rubbed me the wrong way. I think by this point if he'd just leaned in and given me a kiss I would have appreciated it more than him trying to negotiate a kiss out of me on the subway platform. I guess in the end it was really just a matter of timing. So he's following me as I'm headed down the stairs to the F train and we had a really awkward kiss on the stairwell. He made the comment that "someone" needs kissing lessons. My retort was "Yep, someone definitely needs lessons after that one."

I got home and later he called and left me a voicemail message saying he would leave me alone, but wanted to ask me some questions before he did. Then about 10-15 minutes later he called me and told me he'd lost his car keys somewhere. I helped him to call the restaurant with no luck and I think he ended up taking another bus back to his apartment. He found the keys the next day, but thankfully I never had to answer his questions.

All in the date wasn't bad, but I realized that I can't date someone that bothers me this much if we hang out for more than a couple of hours. I know this probably sounds arrogant, but he truly wasn't a good match for me because he just isn't at my level. I've mentioned it here before, but it was made clear by our date on Saturday. I have a strong personality and I need someone who has an equally strong personality that's a compliment to my own (strong personality). I can't date someone who continues to "Yes" me to death or can't even look me in the eye when we're having serious conversation. And let's be real here -- I'm a tall girl with sturdy bone structure. If I feel like I'm the protector in the relationship then the dude isn't man enough for me (I honestly think that's why I love really tall men).

I'm out of the office on Wednesday and Friday, but I'll try to write a little something for Thursday. Have a great week otherwise.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Wasted time

Hello my faithful readers:

I hope that you're surviving the ups and downs we're having with the weather. Yesterday here in NYC it was pouring rain; today the temperature has dropped back down into the 40's (with the wind chill it feels like the 30's), yet all I can think about right now is the future. It's funny because the more I mature, the more I realize that my priorities are shifting. The goals of becoming a member of some board or the SVP of This and That no longer matter nearly as much as they did just a couple of years ago. Life is polishing some of the rough edges on me. Now more than ever I just want a bright and happy future for myself and my loved ones.

Yesterday I had a tough conversation with Mr. Ex, which resulted in him saying "Well I guess it's a waste of time for us to go out again." FINALLY I had the guts to say what's been on my mind for a few weeks now.

I had no intention of bringing it up yesterday, but he mentioned to me again of his desire to write a book. I told him that he should get started on this goal right now by devoting at least one hour of his day to writing. If you don't know this about me, I'm a strong believer in setting a goal and then working towards that goal. So I asked him flat out how he felt about his goals and whether or not he's good at meeting his goals. Probably not the most direct way to ask the question I wanted the answer to, but I wanted to hear his response. He said that he's met some of his goals and that some he definitely hasn't met yet, but overall he feels ok with where he is in life to date. I told him honestly that the reason I ask him so many questions about his goals is because I find him to be a bit of an enigma to me. He talks a good game and says that he wants to settle down, yet if you look at his accomplishments to date on paper, it doesn't add up to very much.

One thing that has come up in previous conversations with Mr. Ex is his belief that the women he has dated in the past ALL had issues with him not having his college degree. I was honest with him and said that his having the degree is not the problem for me. The biggest issue for me is the fact that he is 36 years old, doesn't seem to have any career goals and seems to be in a holding pattern of some sort. I asked him to think about the issue from my perspective. How would he feel if he was the one who had it going on all levels (career, financials, physical and spiritual) and he was dating someone who seemed to be floundering (similar to his current situation)? His response this response to me was "Behind every man is a good woman." I agree that this statement is true, but asked him if he felt he should have his situation a little more stable before getting into a serious relationship. It was at this moment that the battery in his phone started to die and he told me he'd call me back.

When Mr. Ex called me back later that evening, he told me that he understood where I was coming from. Apparently he had been thinking about this too (although I think for him he really thought it was about whether he has a degree or not) and I had to ask him again if he felt he was ready to get into a serious relationship with anyone. He said that he is indeed ready and declared that things will fall into place for him. That he has the desire and that he's had a few setbacks in life, but he truly believes that he will be ok. He then shared that before he moved to NJ he had worked on a business plan for a couple of businesses (an Angolan restaurant and an import/export business). He said that he had a business plan that he worked on a few years ago, but that he's had a few setbacks over the years and has not worked on launching either in some time.

I got the sense that life for him got off track for Mr. Ex in 2003. That's the year he fixated on and that seems to be the last time he felt like he was doing well in regards to his work and financial life. He gave me a little of the back story about the situation, which involved living with a woman, a break-up and a car (always a recipe for disaster in my book). Needless to say he said for the first time in all of our talks that if things don't work out for him in NJ in a year he will probably move home. This is someone who just a week and a half ago on our last date said he never wants to move back home. Honestly, I think it is as a result of pressure from his family to move home because they see the same thing I see someone who is in his mid-30's floundering.

I am happy that I got this off my chest because I had been holding back because quite simply I wasn't sure how to tactfully bring it up. I don't think that this will always go down so smoothly, but in this instance it was a conversation that I learned more about myself than anything. Mr. Ex said that he still likes me and is interested in having another date with me (he actually wanted to go out tonight), but I have plans with some of my girls from work that I can't cancel. I'm still considering things, but to be honest I feel more comfortable with watching Mr. Ex and his situation to see how it develops. I hope that his claim that he will make it happen is true (for his sake).

Thanks again for reading my blog. I love hearing from you guys and this whole process is helping me to grow up (even more). Hope that you enjoy the rest of this week no matter what it brings your way. I'm realizing that being flexible is just as important as following the plan.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

After the talk...

Hello my faithful readers:

It's Tuesday and I can't wait for this weekend to come! I am busy studying for the GMAT and finishing up my final b-school application. Meanwhile my body is telling me I need to chill out. I woke up this morning with a burning stomach and a headache leftover from last night. The source of my headache is work related and I'll get a break from it starting tomorrow until the end of this week. So... today's blog might be more scattered than usual, because my brain is processing information at much slower rates today. :o)

Yesterday I promised to give a recap of my date with Mr. Ex last Friday. I know that many of you are wondering why I went out with him again, after our conversation on Thursday (the night prior to our Friday date). I have thought about it quite a bit and all I can say is that his treatment of me up until that phone conversation has been pretty respectable. He was attentive and most of all he's an intelligent man (I always feel like I learn something after our conversations). When we were setting up our date on Thursday night he said he just wanted to keep it open and not worry about planning what we going to do.

Friday comes and I didn't hear from Mr. Ex until almost 6 PM; in my head I'm thinking this date isn't going to happen. Mentally I'd already started planning my alternative night of catching up on my Netflix movies in my PJ's (and perhaps buying some Nilla Cakesters on the way home). The first thing he says on the phone is "I thought you didn't want to go out with me because I didn't hear from you." I was expecting him to make the call since he has been the initiator of all of our dates.

We finally met up at Port Authority (Mr. Ex takes a bus in from NJ) a little after 8:30 PM. He had stopped and bought me donuts from Dunkin because he remembered that I like sweets; a nice gesture thought I didn't end up eating any of them. I suggested we walk up to Hell's Kitchen (hood in NYC for all you non-New Yawkers) and maybe find a place to sit down and talk. Our walk uptown was a little awkward because he was pretty quiet. I think he was probably thinking about the stupid ish he said the night before. I was my usual bubbly self (I hate conflict) and usually if I don't want to deal with you I simply (passive aggressively) ignore your phone calls until you (give up and) stop calling.

We ended up stopping to have dinner at a restaurant I occasionally frequented when I worked in the 'hood. Rice n Beans is a Brazilian restaurant and Mr. Ex loved it there because the flavors were similar to the Portuguese food he grew up on in Angola. He shared a little bit of his knowledge about the food and gave me a little history of how Brazilians took some of the Angolan culture and claimed it as theirs. Did you know capoeira originated in Angola? I sure didn't, but now I do because of my time with Mr. Ex. He also spoke to our waiters in Portuguese and I think speaking in his native tongue made him more comfortable. Finally we started talking and he eventually said that he was "ok with waiting the 90 days for me, because he would like a relationship with me." He says he is serious about me, although he would 'do what he had to do in the meantime.'

Now this whole 'do what you gotta do' doesn't bother me while I'm not in a relationship with you; quite simply at this stage if I'm just dating you, then I have no claims on you. If we decide that we're together (doesn't mean married), then 'do what you gotta do' doesn't fly with me.

Cut to the next day...

On the Saturday after our date Mr. Ex mentioned that he wanted to take his profile down from pof.com where we met. Then he asked if I was planning to take my profile down. My non-commital response was I would take my profile down once I'm in a (committed) relationship. He didn't really have any response to that, nor did he offer to get into a relationship and I guess this means he still has to handle some business. He also asked me if I was able to have kids in this conversation. Baby on the brain much? I told him in no uncertain terms I have no interest in getting pregnant at this time (if ever).

Back to our date on Friday night...

The rest of our date was relatively uneventful, (besides him kissing me once) we walked around after dinner because of the warmer weather, then I dropped him off back at the Port Authority. We did have an awkward moment where he tried to give me a goodbye kiss and wanted me to wait until he did it. I ended up blowing him a kiss and hopping into the cab home instead of standing there for the passionate embrace he wanted. He did call me later on that night to make sure I made it home safely.

Here you have it, the date after 'The Talk' was fine. I had a nice time and Mr. Ex traeted me with respect. My biggest issue with him is the fact that he seems to be something that he referred to me as "an enigma." He's a grown man, who seems ready to settle down although his life seems to be in transition. Mr. Ex is an enigma to me (something he told me he thought I was on our date). On one hand: he doesn't have a career to speak of (he currently works a couple of part-time jobs), lives with two roommates (he's 36 years old), tells bad jokes and says he can't wait 90 days without 'doing what he has to do.' On the other hand: he treats me well, is attentive, intelligent, seems geniune and told me he wants a long term relationship with me. There is something else going on here, but I'm not sure what. Why is he so concerned about my fertility? I have a lot to consider, but you'll hear more about this once I decide whether to NEXT him.

Thanks again for reading today. Hope that the rest of your week is fantastic; I'm planning to hunker down for the rest of this week (after tonight) and study. Remember I love to hear from you so don't hesitate to comment or become a follower.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Having "The Talk"

Hello my faithful readers:

Happy Monday to you all! This weekend went by way too quickly for me. I always come back to work every Monday thinking I could use one more day to just relax. Most of my time this weekend was divided between cleaning, grocery shopping and studying with a big emphasis on studying. I had a date on Friday night with Mr. Ex, which I'll recap in tomorrow's blog.

I recently read Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," as most of you know. While I don't necessarily take everything Steve says in the book to heart, I agree with most of the advice he gives. One of the things Steve recommends is waiting at least 90 days before having sex with someone. Steve's book isn't the first place I've heard this advice. In the past I haven't always waited like I know I should, but it is now my current policy. All of you may not agree with this policy because it might work for you and because if I'm honest with myself, sometimes it's freakin HARD to wait. My hormones are constantly telling me "Girl you better do something about this drought situation RIGHT NOW!" (I hear crickets chirping right now so I must be the ONLY one with raging hormones).

Cut to last Thursday night during one of my phone conversations with Mr. Ex. Generally he asks intelligent, thought provoking questions and up to this point we'd been getting closer and closer to really discussing the 'sex issue' for a while. Finally he breaks out with a question that shook me a little "Have you ever been pregnant before?" I answered honestly with no and also added that I have no desire to get pregnant at this point in my life. We talked a little bit more and then I broke the news to him that I'm not planning to sleep with him for at least 90 days. His reaction to my bombshell was very eye-opening and surprising for me because up until this point he'd been very gentlemanly.

He basically said he didn't think waiting 90 days was possible and that he'd never heard of such a thing from a woman before. I just laughed and said that it was one of my requirements and that he could take it or leave it. Then he proceeded to say that he didn't know that he could wait for me and that I would have a hard time finding someone willing to wait 90 days. Then he tried to convince me that things have to happen naturally and you can't put deadlines on things. The kicker of the whole conversation for me was the fact that he said he felt like I should have put this bit of information up on my profile. That statement alone was HYSTERICAL to me (really put this on my dating profile). He also told me he felt that you run out of things to do on dates if you don't sleep with each other at some point within the 90 day window. I just laughed at all of his arguments for not waiting for 90 days, but inside I was thanking my lucky stars that this topic came up and I was hearing his real unedited reaction to the issue. My CPS was (and is still) in full effect now since our conversation (thanks Digi Jay for the terminology).

We had a few more back and forth exchanges and then decided to continue with our date plans for Friday night. In hindsight I have no idea why I agreed to go out with him again; after our conversation I figured it would be a waste of both of our time. I truly believe at this point he was planning to try to convince me of the error of my ways on Friday. In Mr. Ex's defense he said that having sex with me wasn't the only reason he was interested in me. Our conversation gave me lots to think about and made me realize that there is wisdom in waiting 90 days, because you can truly do more fact finding about the other person; like a trial period to figure out whether it's worth going further. I know that having a 90 day waiting period isn't the right choice for everyone, but for me at this stage in my life (and my emotional growth), it's the right choice for me.

I hope you have a great week - so far this one seems to be off to a good start for me. I'm feeling good and I believe we're in for some beautiful weather this week. Tomorrow I'll blog about our date on Friday after our Thursday night 'talk.'

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Distractions

Hello my faithful readers:

I can't believe how quickly the month of March has gone. It's almost April - can you believe it?!? Truly I hope that April will be a month of renewal and opportunity for everyone; because I simply don't want to hear anymore bad news. While I know that many of you are going through your own personal struggles I really hope that you can hang on just a little while longer. Recently I re-connected at a networking event with someone I worked with a few years ago. We had a meeting a week later where I gave her a few names and phone numbers of people I thought she should meet with for business opportunities and networking purposes. Yesterday she called just to say "thank you" and that gave me the boost I needed to make it through the rest of my day yesterday. It's little things like this that help to keep me hopeful that things will indeed get better.

Yesterday was full of surprise phone calls and text messages; two blasts from the (recent) past, Mystervee and Youngun both called/texted me yesterday. Although Youngun has been less frequent with his contact, he has shown more interest in texting me (for a job) than Mystervee. Youngun has now taken to texting me every week and a half or so and sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. Yesterday I decided to entertain his texts and our text conversation ended with his last text to me "It's ok...still tryin to make it. I'm also looking for a better job now too." This is the second time he's mentioned this in a text conversation with me and I suppose I should just tell him that if he's looking for a job he should just e-mail me with his resume or even give me a call to discuss what he's looking for...I will blame his ignorance on the right way to network for a job on his youth and keep it moving.

Mystervee's call interrupted my response to Youngun's final text; Almost immediately after not picking up his call, I got a text with his phone number in it (no voicemail message). I thought about calling him back, but I realized that there really isn't any reason for me to speak to him. I know what he's interested in and although some of you may disagree with me, I felt his lack of respect for me the first time around was enough for me. Ignoring that call and not calling him back was probably one of the HARDEST things I've done in a long time. Why? Because like most women I wanted to get some sort of closure on our situation and find out why he treated me like a $5 hooker. Although I'm curious about WHY he called me, I'm not curious enough to be distracted from finding the right man for me. I know that talking to him would be a waste of my time and if I'm true to what I have set out to do, I need to stay focused on my goal.

I think it's funny that people come out of the woodwork just when you thought you'd put them out of your mind. Hopefully with a little focus, common sense and self preservation, I'll stop repeating some of the mistakes I've made in past relationships. I believe these distractions pop up to test whether or not you're ready for the real thing. I hope that I passed this particular "distraction test" so that I can move on to the right situation for me.

Thanks for always giving me good feedback and I hope that you enjoy what you're reading here. I love hearing from you and I hope that you'll become a follower or comment (I don't bite, even if we have differing opinions). Enjoy your Thursday - it's almost the weekend! YEAHHHHH!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

The Anti-Seducer

Hello my faithful readers:

Today is Tuesday and I am in a fantastic mood. This week I'm focused on getting some things crossed of my personal to-do list, so I'm not going out nearly as much as I have been in the past couple of weeks. This is a good thing and I hope that as a result I'll be announcing some good news in the next couple of months. Now if only the weather would cooperate and WARM UP!
In yesterday's blog I gave you a recap of my date with Mr. Ex and today I want to provide you with a recap of my date on Saturday night with The E-card Stalker.

Now I'd initially set up my Saturday night date with The E-card Stalker on Monday last week. Prior to that we had talked on the phone maybe a couple of times since our first coffee date (almost a month and a half ago now). I didn't hear from him again until the Friday night before we were supposed to go out. As I was out on my date with Mr. Ex, I didn't get to speak with him on Friday. (FYI- The E-Card Stalker knew that I had plans for Friday night, because when we were setting the date up I told him I couldn't do Friday because I had other plans). I called him back on Saturday morning around 10:30 and he called me back around 1 pm. We decided to meet up at 7:3o that night.

I'd asked The E-card Stalker to plan this date because I was curious to see what he'd come up with and he wanted to meet up at BB King's in Times Square. Now personally I HATE the Times Square area and generally avoid it like the plague whenever I can; I assumed he was taking me to see a show at BB Kings so I was open to the idea of it until I arrived to have him say "They have a show downstairs, we have to go somewhere else." I should take a moment to describe what The E-card Stalker was wearing; he was dressed in exactly the same clothing from our first coffee date - black and white Nike baseball hat, black leather coat, black and white camouflage long sleeve thermal shirt, jeans and Nike running shoes.

I was nice about the change in plans and when we walked out and he guided me to the movie theater next door (same theater I'd been in the night before with Mr. Ex) I promptly made the suggestion to see "I Love You Man." I thought that the 8 o'clock show was sold out, but when we got in the cashier said that there were still seats in that show. Hallelujah! Finally I was going to see the movie I really wanted to see. Now as we were heading up all of the escalators he starts in again on how hard to reach I am and how the other men must be keeping me busy. I was personally annoyed because for someone who makes the absolute minimal effort to get in touch with me I thought he had a LOT OF NERVE trying to call me out on it. I just smiled nicely and said "I'm not all that hard to reach, our schedules just seem to be at odds." Guess he didn't believe my answer because then he kept going on about my other guys so I told him "Yes, I'm seeing other people."

We headed into the theater and grabbed our seats. Once the movie started up he tried to make a couple of lame jokes one of which was "Will I get a kiss tonight?" I tried not to roll my eyes and just shook my head NO. Early on in the movie he tried to grab my hand and I just pulled my hand away. Something about him and his lame jokes and trying to grab on me 10 minutes in didn't sit right with me. He assumed that he could go there with me and assumed we have more of a relationship than we have, when I kept telling him we need to get to know each other. You barely know me. Quite simply my advice to any man with game "EASE INTO IT PLAYER!"

After the movie (which we both LOVED - it's hysterical), we ended up going to Chevy's right next to the movie theater. The one thing that was GLARING to me, that I didn't bother to call him on is the fact that he didn't remove his baseball hat when we sat down at dinner. This man is 40+ years old and he didn't have the good sense to remove his baseball hat? I think from that moment on I was done with our date.

It's here where we had a little more in depth conversation. Here is where I mentioned again that I felt like he didn't know me well enough to keep saying that he was fond of me and wanted a relationship with me. He brought up my busy schedule again and this is where I told him that my number one priority right now is studying and getting into grad school so although I might be going out socially, I also spend a good deal of my time in classes and studying. When I mentioned my future plans to go to grad school (in Europe) he seemed surprised (although I know I had mentioned to all of my dates that I'm taking a french class and that I'm studying for the GMAT) his response was "I thought the french class was just for fun. I didn't think you would be into moving over there. Guess you'll have to just hop on a plane every month for a visit." WTF?

Personally I felt that The E-card Stalker and I had a lot more chemistry on our first coffee date. I told him straight up and also mentioned how important chemistry was for me in a relationship. I believe you either have chemistry or you don't and he felt you can grow into chemistry with a person. I believe pursuing any sort of relationship without chemistry is a waste of time (and I definitely don't believe you should wait around for it to grow). Some of you may disagree with me here, but that's what I believe. For me chemistry is a connection on any of these three areas: physical, mental and spiritual. If you're connected on all 3 levels I think your relationship has a fair shot at succeeding.

By the end of the night it was clear for me that I had no interest in seeing The E-card Stalker again. When he dropped me off at the entrance to my train he made a last ditch effort to say he wanted to see me again. Have I heard from him since our date? That would be a BIG FAT NO! Maybe he took his cues from me and felt that I just wasn't that in to him so it wasn't worth the effort. The fact that he never made the effort from the beginning up until our 2nd date to truly get to know me in any way and I feel that all of the following are just signs of that.

• He never really called me, nor ever tried to switch up the times he called to try to reach me
• His plans for the date were half-assed
• He didn't make the effort in the way he dressed (nor did he have the good sense to take his baseball hat off at dinner)
• He had no interest in getting to know me or my plans

Having the dates with Mr. Ex and The E-card Stalker back to back was an interesting experience for me. It gave me the opportunity to compare both experiences and think about how I like to be treated in a relationship and in the end I really want someone that is trying just a little bit harder. The E-card Stalker exhibited some typical Anti-Seducer behavior (from what I've read in "The Art of Seduction") and it was a big turn-off to me especially in comparison to my date the night before. I watched Steve Harvey on "Oprah" yesterday with his audience of women and he said something along the lines of "Chivalry isn't dead, women have just stopped requiring it in their relationships." Well now that I've had a recent taste of what chivalry is like, I will require it in all my relationships from now on. Anything else is just a waste of my time and you know what, I'm ok with waiting for the right thing for me.

Hope that you enjoyed reading the blog today. If you like what you're reading here - feel free to become a follower or comment (on the blog) you can even do it anonymously. I promise I won't bite you! Have a great day today.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

The Charmer...

Hello my faithful readers:

It's Monday again and although we're officially three days into spring, the weather certainly doesn't seem to be cooperating. It's barely above freezing here in NYC and the fact that I'm still wearing one of my bubble coats at this point in the year makes me wonder if I'll ever get to wear a sundress this season. Warm weather always flips a switch in me that turns me into a social butterfly because there's something magical about spring and summer in NYC. SIGH... So warm weather and REAL SPRING PLEASE COME RIGHT NOW, so that I'll feel the natural desire to be a social butterfly.

The winter weather might explain the mood I was in on Friday prior to my date with Mr. Ex. As you might recall from Friday's blog "Second Dates" although I was excited that we were seeing "I Love You Man," that night, all I really wanted to do was go home, snuggle in my PJ's, watch my Netflix selections and eat some Nilla Cakesters (YUM). Now Mr. Ex and I had confirmed the night before that we were meeting up at 8 pm. I told him that I would send him the details (by e-mail) and normally we usually talk on the phone, day of, to triple confirm our plans. In fact, one thing you should know about Mr. Ex is that he is pretty consistent with calling to check in on me or confirm plans; he isn't one to drop off the radar at all. This is actually one of the things I like most about him is his consistency. When I hadn't heard from him by around 6 pm (and he hadn't responded to the email) I gave him a call. He didn't answer, so I left him a message saying to call me back to confirm that we were still on for 8 pm. To kill time before our meeting time I went and got a mani-pedi at my local nail spot.

I called Mr. Ex a second time around 7:15, but didn't leave a message, while I was in the nail shop. By this point it wasn't looking good for us to meet up because I hadn't heard anything from him at all. Once my appointment was done at 7:55 I headed over to the Kmart near my office to kill time, because we were supposed to meet up for the 8 PM showing at the AMC on 34th Street. I called him and left a message saying "Hey it's G... and right now it's around 8 and we were supposed to meet up and I still haven't heard from you, I'll give it a few minutes and then I'm probably going to head home. I hope that everything is ok for you."

After leaving my message for Mr. Ex, I called The Roodster and asked her advice on when it would be appropriate for me to hop on the next C train to Brooklyn. After explaining the situation she said "Give him about 10 minutes then it is appropriate for you to leave." I have to admit I was secretly glad to have an unexpected free night, although my pride was a little hurt to be stood up. It's been a while since I've been stood up. The Roodster completely understood where I was coming from; afterwards we continued our conversation and discussed her plans for that evening. I gave her my two cents about her situation and it was 8:10 before we knew it.

After I ended the call with The Roodster, I headed downstairs to the ground floor of Kmart and proceeded to pick up a few things (a box of Nilla Cakesters included). After I made my purchases headed for the train. I was standing on the platform waiting for the C train (an E had just passed), I had my headphones in, I'm all bundled up and I'm holding all these shopping bags in my hand. The train pulls into the platform and who do I see, but Mr. Ex on the train. I was sort of in shock and I'm sure I had lots of emotions playing on my face (shock, disappointment, happiness, surprise, anger, shock)! I really wasn't expecting to hear from him again that night at least and here he was in front of me. He got off the train and I tapped him and he was just as surprised to see me standing there too.

Mr. Ex explained that he lost his phone and after realizing it on the bus in from NJ, stopped in an internet cafe in Times Square to get my number and the info about our meeting time. Then he asked me if I was really planning to leave when he saw me? I said Yes I was because I hadn't heard from you at all and wasn't sure that he was coming since he hadn't made contact before our meeting time or responded to my phone calls. So at this point I knew that we were definitely not making it to the 8 PM showing of "I Love You Man," so I suggested we head to one of the movie theaters in Times Square (an area that I absolutely ABHOR). He grabs my bags from me and said "What does it look like with you carrying those bags and I'm with you, not carrying anything?"

We got to Times Square and the 9:15 showing of "I Love You Man" was already sold out. I was sad that I wasn't going to see the movie I REALLY wanted to see; so I asked Mr. Ex what else he felt like seeing and he said it didn't matter to him. The only things up next were "Sunshine Cleaning" and "Taken" so I decided to do "Taken," hoping that it was escapist enough for me. After the movie (good, but super violent) we decided to walk around Times Square a little bit to talk. I learned a little bit more about him and what he's seeking in his next relationship. He said he's at the point where he's ready to get serious with someone, he wants to get a full-time job in the next six months (yep, I asked the question from Steve Harvey's book), he told me a little about his plans for the next few years, his background, why his name is portuguese and other things. Overall my impression of him after this second date is that he is a decent man and knows how a woman should be treated.

At the end of our date he saw me into a cab home (didn't offer to pay for it though) and called me once he was home to make sure I made it home. He also called me again on Saturday (we didn't talk) and then we talked a couple of times again on Sunday. He seems to be supportive of my plans for the future plans to start my MBA program, he was very respectful of me and I like the fact that he doesn't take anything for granted with me. When he asked if I was still dating other people I was honest and said at this point yes I am. He's paying attention and saying all of the right things and for me it's a nice change. I'm looking forward to our next date and he's even stepping up to the plate (at my suggestion that he should take the lead on planning our next dates) and has given a couple of ideas for our next couple of dates. Seeing someone that is actually paying attention and making adjustments accordingly to my responses is something I'm enjoying immensely. It's a nice change, very seductive (remember I'm reading "The Art of Seduction" right now) and I realize now that dating someone that understands the art of seduction is something I need to experience right now. I'm really looking forward to our next date.

Tomorrow I'll give you a re-cap of my date with The E-card Stalker. I'm thankful that I got to do these dates back to back, because having them a day apart really helped me to evaluate the differences in their treatment of me in a way that I haven't ever taken the time to do before. Thanks again for reading the blog today and I hope you have a great week!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Second dates...

Hello my faithful readers:

It's SPRING! Although we're getting a little snow up here on the first day of spring here in NYC, today might be the BEST Friday yet! My boss is on vacation for the next couple of days (WHOO HOO) and yesterday I booked my flight to Brussels for next month. This week has been super busy for me; more than anything in this world I want to go home tonight, put on my pj's, snuggle in my bed (the MOST comfortable place in this world) and eat some cakesters. BUT, I can't. Why not? Because I have a date tonight!

Tonight I have a date with Mr. Ex (our 2nd one) and we're going to see "I Love You Man." I'm super excited (about the movie) because I've wanted to see it since I first heard my movie star boyfriend, Paul Rudd, is in it. :o) Plus it looks funny and I desperately need to see a comedy right now after such an intense few weeks. We're going to a late-ish movie and I hope that I can stay awake for it.

Yesterday Mr. Ex called me as I was walking to pick up some lunch. I mentioned off hand that my Saturday plans for the daytime had been cancelled. I also mentioned that I was GLAD to have my time back because I needed to run some errands and clean my apartment. Last night Mr. Ex called me and said he remembered my plans changed and thought he should give me a call because he though I might want to change our date for tomorrow during the day because he would need to take Friday off from work. I said no, I wanted to keep the Friday night date because I needed Saturday to take care of some personal things. He was weird about it and when I pressed him further on it he was like "Oh no, I'm ok to do Friday night, it's ok, I can take Friday off, don't feel bad about it." I said "I don't feel bad about it, but why did you suggest a Friday night date if you couldn't do it.?" He was like oh I did take Friday off, I'll just have to go in to work on Saturday morning to make up for it. WTF? I personally think this was a LIE. I just sensed he hadn't make the proper arrangements from what he was saying earlier. Then when I called him on it, he was like oh yes I did take Friday off. Don't make a suggestion then try to passive aggresively get me to change my plans. Say what you mean and make a straight up request like a REAL MAN. I'm sure he did want to change the plans, but he didn't ask me in a straight up fashion and I'm no mind reader.

Tomorrow night I'm supposed to go out on a 2nd date with The E-card Stalker. I've been reading a book called "The Art of Seduction" and he falls into one of the categories they have called "The Anti-Seducer." He still sends me sappy e-cards (I got one on Monday and I wanted to rip my eyelids off after reading it) and our phone conversations remain very stilted. I know I'm partly to blame, but EVERY single conversation he whines to me, that I'm hard to reach; but when I return his phone calls he takes nearly a week to return my calls. WTF? Personally I have already decided he's playing games, but I will go on this 2nd date because I did enjoy his company on our first date and prior to going out with him there felt like his phone conversation left a lot to be desired. If it's a bust, then I'll have my confirmation and will move on from the situation. He's planning this date (at my insistence) and I just hope that I'll have a good time.

So two 2nd dates this weekend. This should offer some funny stories on Monday I suppose. I just hope I can stay awake to survive both of them. I need some down time so on Sunday I plan to put in some much needed veg time. I hope that your week has been as wonderful as mine and thank you again for reading my blog. I love hearing from you and if you like what you're reading don't be afraid to comment or become a follower (at the very least). :o) SHAMELESS PLUG I know, but feed my ego just a little why don't ya? Have a great time this weekend and enjoy the spring!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Culture, culture and more culture

Hello my faithful readers:

It's Monday and I'm actually pretty excited about this week. I have the feeling that it will be even better than last week and I'm anticipating great news coming my way. Tonight I'm planning to hang out with my friends EB, The Roodster and EJ @ Carnegie Hall for "Ask Your Mama" which is based on the Langston Hughes poem of the same name. Jessye Norman and The Roots are supposed to be on the bill (Jessye actually curated this one); it should be a fantastic time. Typing this blog, I just realized that in all of my 9 years of living here in NYC this will be my FIRST time at Carnegie Hall; for me this is a HUGE deal to finally see something at one of the most prestigious venues in the city.

My date on Saturday was equally as lovely and Mr. Ex is someone I met on pof.com. I was the planner for the day - he isn't all that familiar with the city, because he lives in Freehold, NJ. He got in early because he took a bus in and I was about 15 minutes late because I miscalcuated how long it would take me to get into the city since the subway wasn't running between my stop and downtown Brooklyn (which is quite a pain in the arse!) Although I was running late - I was VERY GOOD about keeping him abreast of my progress. I notified him that I was stuck on the bus in Brooklyn, told him when I got on the train headed into the city and called him the moment I stepped off the train to walk over to the restaurant.

I walked into the restaurant and headed straight over to the hostess and told her I was meeting someone. After quickly perusing the place I didn't see anyone that looked like the guy that was my date (or at least the pictures I'd seen online) so I called him and asked if he was there in the restaurant and he said "You're too late, I am in a cab on the way back, you took too long." Now I was PISSED OFF, because I'd just talked to him less than 5 minutes prior to tell him that I was walking over and he hadn't indicated that he was leaving at that point. So I say "Ok, sorry to hear you feel that way," all while standing in front of the hostess, I think she was starting to feel sorry for me. I was already trying to decide whether or not I was going to stay for brunch anyway since I was sooooo HUNGRY, when he walks up behind me, taps me on the shoulder and says he was joking. I think I have a very good sense of humor, but we definitely don't necessarily have similar tastes in what is funny. Personally I don't find his type of humor very funny and given that we don't know each other very well, it's hard to tell when he's joking or not (something that people often tell me). What's interesting is over the course of our getting to know each other on the phone he's made several other jokes of the same ilk that I didn't find funny, which for me was part of the reason I was so unenthusiastic about him in my blog "Dating drought."

Our brunch was at 202 - a restaurant and clothing store, good food and fashion/houseware all into one cute chelsea location. 202 has the best pancakes in the city hands down! We both ordered the pancakes and although we got seated at a more communal style table than I would have liked we did try to get to know each other a little bit more than we had already done on the phone. Mr. Ex is a native of Angola, speaks 5 different languages (including Portuguese and Spanish) and has lived in the US for about 9 years now, initially moving here for school in Michigan. He's an attractive man and came to the date in a nice gray pullover sweater, black button down shirt and jeans.

After grubbing on brunch, we headed over to the Hank Willis Thomas exhibit at the Jack Hainman Gallery in Chelsea. The exhibit was cool, but took us all of 15 minutes to view, so we ended checking out a few of the other galleries on the block. I'd highly recommend going to check out the Nicholas Robinson Gallery - they had a couple of good exhibits there, especially the paintings by Wei Dong. Mr. Ex seemed to really have a great time and we talked a little bit about art and what we personally were interested in and I found out that he writes poetry, but has not done it in a while. I encouraged him to get back into the habit of writing and he said he wanted to start soon.

We left the block with all of the galleries and walked over to the Chelsea Piers area because he wanted to see the water. We continued to chat a little bit about what we're looking for in our relationships, why past relationships haven't worked out and here's where I admitted something to him (and myself) that I've thinking about a lot lately in my homework for myself. In the past I have NOT WANTED a committed relationship at all. Therefore I didn't seek, nor require it from anyone I happened to be seeing at any given time. He also astutely observed that I do want something special in my relationships, which I agree is true. I realize now that I should set about defining what is special to me, because being special could mean so many different things.

So overall I had a good time on my date. Mr. Ex seems to have a good head on his shoulders and he did something, that in my mind was very special; he called me to make sure I made it home safely. This might seem like a very small thing, but for me, doesn't seem to happen all that often at the end of ANY of my dates. It made me think differently about him and I'd consider going out on a second date with him, even though our senses of humor are so different. Plus he did bring up a couple of his past relationships on the date, but his calling me to make sure I made it home safely absolved him of those transgressions (for now)!

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog today. Hope you enjoyed and I'm looking forward to your feedback on this one. Have a wonderful week - I certainly plan on having one.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Dating drought

Hello my faithful readers:

It's been a while since I last regaled you with my dating tales and for that I apologize, but it's simply because I haven't had anything that I felt would be of interest to report this week. Things are slow and I seem to be in the middle of a dating drought. Ok that might be a little dramatic since it's really only been a week, but honestly I'm a little uninspired by my present dating options.

I have recently started corresponding with a couple of gentleman from the online dating website http://www.plentyoffish.com/. The site is one of the few free dating websites out there and I have to say that from my perspective as a marketing professional it is a little unappealing because of the cluttered look and feel of the user interface (UI for all you web pro's out there). Now the guys I've met seem like nice people, but none of them have me enthused enough to go out on a date with them.

One of the guys who I will now affectionately refer to as Mr. Ex is a nice guy. Mr. Ex is 36, is from Angola and works in sales in New Jersey (30 miles past Newark). He seems to LOVE talking to me about all of his ex girlfriends. Since I'm such a patient listener, I suppose he thinks I'm the best place to get it all off his chest, but to be honest and like most people, I have no real interest in him remininscing about all of the women he's had in his life. Perhaps it's a cultural thing, but that's all he seems to go on about and the other day I cut our conversation short after about ten minutes and told him I needed to go get ready for bed. He called me last night and I couldn't make myself return the call because I simply didn't have the energy to listen to another story.

One of the other men, The Music Teacher, is also 36 (hey that might be my magic number) who doesn't have a profile pic up and his profile says he's just there to "Hang Out." He keeps e-mailing me to go out on a date with him, but my red flags are raised by anyone who doesn't know how to put a pic up on their profile. Not that looks are the end all be all for me, but I think it's a little unfair that he can see me, but I can't see him. He seems nice enough, but again nothing about him, his responses to my questions makes me all that inclined to meet up with him. When I asked him what about my profile attracted him to me he said "I just think you're beautiful." That's a nice sentiment, but I don't even think he read my profile to see if we have anything in common.

I know, I know, I know... some of you think I'm just being nitpicky and YES perhaps I am. But I'm ok waiting for quality at this stage in my life. As I meet more and more people I'm realizing that what is most important for me isn't quantity, but the quality of the man. I'm sure some of these men will make nice friends for me in the future, but for now I think I can keep it moving.

This weekend I'm planning to hit up a few parties, there's a networking "Family Day" event for TJ Martell on Saturday and a friend of mine is having a birthday hang tomorrow night, plus The Brooklyn Museum is having its First Saturday party tomorrow night as well. I'll try to hit up at least one of these things and get my booty out of my apartment so that I can meet other people. Although I was a little weary when I started this week and even whined to one of my co-workers that "This is haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard," I'm feeling much better as I head into this weekend. My priorities are straight, I feel much better health wise and I'm really loving me and all I have to offer right now.

I hope that you guys have a great weekend! Thanks for the support and if you want to be my Platonic Activity Partner (or my wing man or wing woman) this weekend hit me up. I'd love to have some company. I'm hoping this weekend will get me out of this dating drought I seem to be stuck in.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Sometimes it's the little things...

Hello My Faithful Readers:


For all of you up here in the great Northeast, I hope you're surviving this mini-blizzard that has hit us! I wasn't prepared at all for it and I must be the only person who didn't pay close attention to the weather reports, because I was shocked to wake up this morning to nearly 8 inches of snow. This weekend was actually pretty low key for me. I felt under-the-weather by the end of last week (cold/sinus) so I ended up going home from work Friday and not leaving my apartment until Sunday, when I met my friends The Roodster and Lil B for dinner, at a lovely new Ethiopian Restaurant called Etai.

I finally heard from Mystervee on late Saturday night (around 11) asking if I was in the city and wanted to meet up. I'm not even sure why I answered the phone that late except to see what he was up to...and to confirm my suspicions that he indeed sees me as an "Afterthought Chic" AKA "Booty Call." When I explained that I was sick he said "Call me when you feel better." Again my problem with this guy is that he just really doesn't seem to care about me as a person, he's more concerned about tapping my A$$. He doesn't know how to treat a woman. You know how I feel about that ladies and gentleman "NEXT!"

The E-card Stalker and I were supposed to have a date on Saturday evening. He'd called me on Friday night to confirm and at that time I told him that I felt like I could still go on the date. By Saturday afternoon I realized that I didn't have the energy to get out of bed and I was sounding like a 13 year old boy whose voice was changing (I think he was afraid of catching what I had too); he suggested that we reschedule for some other time. True to form on Sunday evening he called me to check up on me and sent me a get well e-card from him. It was a nice touch and even though there are things that The E-card Stalker needs to work on as far as phone conversations (I'll get into this later) I have to admit that it was nice to see someone cared enough to check up on me. Quite simply, he knows how to treat a woman.

I put two little updates up today to illustrate the big differences in how these men are going about treating me. I really do believe sometimes a little bit of effort goes a long way in my book and I was impressed by The E-card Stalker even checking on me. My friend The Roodster and I had a discussion about men and relationships at dinner last night and she made a good point. She said that sometimes men don't know how to treat a woman because quite simply they are used to women who don't have any standards or requirements. I'm pretty old-fashioned and have lots and lots of standards. At this point in my life I can't see myself relaxing my standards for anyone. I understand giving a man a shot, (believe me I'm the QUEEN of this!). BUT when it's clear to me from his actions what he really thinks of me, I have no choice for my own sanity, but to keep it moving.

I have to say thank you to everyone for all the love and support and comments you send my way! I appreciate them all and I hope that you will keep them coming. It's really tough to put myself out there in an honest way without having a few critics. I'd like to just clarify the purpose and intent of my blog by saying that it is intended to share with you some of my mistakes, my growth and the journey I'll eventually make as I try to find the right relationship for me. It is not to give a full-blown view or even to exploit any of the men that I happen to go out on dates with. I may beat them up here, but you better believe I'm beating myself up too for my sometimes ridiculous behavior. Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog today and I wish you a wonderful rest of the week!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Keeping it in my pants

Hello my faithful readers:

Happy Tuesday! Today I'm in a great mood because I heard Mary J. Blige's song "Just Fine." She has a couple of lines that describe exactly how I'm feeling right now:

No time for moping around, are you kidding?

And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning

It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest

Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right

As promised today I'm going to share part two of my weekend adventures. I had a 2nd date with Mystervee (MV)- the guy who likes his girls "spontaneous." Well let's just say that although it wasn't a bad date, I realized that he's probably not someone I could see myself ever getting serious about. I am going to try to be fair and balanced in sharing this story with you and recognize that I am no angel and in the end he may feel like I led him on simply because I didn't speak up about certain things. To put some of my observations into context I should share that I recently read the new Steve Harvey book "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man: What Men Really Think About Relationships, Intimacy and Commitment" because it puts into context some of the issues I had with MV.

MV finally called me around 1 pm on Saturday about meeting up that day. He asked what I felt like doing that day and I told him I was open to whatever he wanted to do with the exception of skydiving. He seemed to be at a loss for ideas so I threw out the idea of going to see the Oscar nominated shorts at the IFC Theater (thanks MILF for the suggestion). I jumped online to look for times and called out a few to him and was in the process of asking what time we should meet up when my landline rang. I told him I would call him back in about 5 minutes. I get back upstairs and called him and his voicemail picks up and I left a message telling him to call me back.

When I didn't hear from him within the next few minutes I continued cleaning my apartment and before you know it a few hours had passed. I realized if we were going to do this date thing I should probably figure out where he was so I texted him "U ok?" and he called me back immediately. Apparently he had headed into the city and was waiting for me. WTF? I was like we never confirmed a time so why did you come in without speaking to me? He said he was already heading in and he had been walking around killing time. I told him I needed about an hour and a half to get there to meet him and he releases a huge sigh and already I'm thinking to myself 'Who goes into the city without confirming a time or meeting place and what's the deal with your attitude?'

Realizing that I could have called him again or texted him earlier, I put a move on and jumped in the shower and head into the city. I call him before hopping on the train and we decide that we'll meet up in the West Village. When I meet him at the Barnes & Noble where he'd been killing time (secretly I loved that he chose to kill time in the bookstore) he asked what I felt like doing. I told him I was hungry and he mentioned that he had already eaten while waiting for me. Since I thought we were trying to catch the movie and it was a little after 7 I said that I could go for a slice of pizza.

While walking to the pizzeria I checked him out and noticed immediately that I hated his shoes. I then said "Oh you dressed up today" and he said "Oh no, I didn't I just have on a t-shirt under here." Folks I really wish that he hadn't unzipped his pullover sweater because the t-shirt he had on underneath had a little stain on it. and it wasn't the nicest t-shirt I'd ever seen. Mentally from that moment on I was paying extra attention to every action and every word he said. I realize now that this was probably the defining moment of the date for me because from that moment on lots of little things bothered me (subliminally).

We went to the pizzeria right next to the IFC Theater - I mentioned I didn't have any cash on me and he gave me a look and said "Oh you're one of those people who doesn't carry cash on you." I ordered a cheese slice and a bottle of water (he paid) and we sat in the back of the shop, I ate my slice and proceeded to question him more. The next thing that started to bother me was the fact that although I was asking him questions to get to know him better, there seemed to be no curiosity on his part about me.

Instead of going to the movies we decided to move on to a restaurant called Cuba for the mojitos (he suggested the place). It was cute and we both ordered mojitos , surprisingly he said it was too strong for him. We chatted a bit more and during conversation at Cuba I found out that he was older than I realized. It slipped out in the course of our conversation about birthday celebrations; he said that he was planning to celebrate his this year because it was a big one. He was turning 40. Although I didn't call him on the discrepancy I thought to myself - you're 39, but your profile at www.blacksingles.com says you're 37। Please believe I went home after our date and re-checked his profile and it indeed says that he's 37.

After our drinks at Cuba, we decided to walk around the village a little bit। We stopped in a bookstore because he said he needed to look for some books for his paper at school. He's studying Social History and his project is a profile on Lincoln and his personal life. He mentioned that he is thinking about going back for his degree. When I asked him about what particular degree he was vague and his response was "whatever falls into place." Now I will admit that I had questioned him about his short term goals (per Steve's book) on the phone earlier that week and he was equally vague about his immediate short term goals saying that he was going to try to get some things going by investing in real estate again, but with a similar attitude of whatever fell into place would be what he pursues. After leaving the bookstore we stopped by his car to grab his gloves and he reaches over and kisses me. It was a nice kiss and I'd be lying to you all if I didn't admit that I am still very physically attracted to this dude. He's cute and he knows it...

After walking around a little more, he was trying to decide whether or not he would attend his nieces birthday party that night. I strongly encouraged him to go after his sister called him about it during our date. He decides that he isn't going to the birthday and mentions he's hungry again. I said I'd be happy to go with him to a restaurant if he was hungry. He then says "I have food at my house." Now I'm curious about this guy and I've heard about his house (he owns it) and curiosity got the best of me so I left my good sense back in the city and agreed to go to NJ to his place.

We got there and I have to say his house is pretty amazing. It was HUGE, although very masculine, tastefully decorated. He told me to make myself comfy, handed me the remote to his TV and headed into the kitchen to cook something to eat. I kept telling him I wasn't hungry, but he insisted on cooking for me (I never ate any of it because I made it clear I wasn't hungry). We sat there for a while watching TV together, then he tried to make out a bit and I told him "No" and explained that hey I liked him, but I'm not that easy. Here is where I must remind you that even though mentally I was turned off by a few things about MV, he is still damn FINE. Physically it was really hard for me to stand my ground and keep it in my pants. I give him kudos for being respectful of me and immediately backing off without pushing the issue.

Our date turned into a sleep over with my simple request for a blanket. It was a little chilly, we were downstairs watching TV and then he said "We'll be more comfortable up in my room." Now this move sealed my fate - I was going to get NO SLEEP that night, by agreeing to be his snuggle bunny for the night. You know why? Because this dude snores like a damn chainsaw. He snored and snored and snored. I realized that God was punishing me for not speaking up and getting my ass out of there by torturing me with MV's loud snoring. Needless to say, snoring IS NOT SEXY and his snoring is so bad that even if I didn't have other issues with him, for the snoring alone it I'm not sure I could see him again.

We finally got moving early that morning around 6:30. I'd mentioned to him the previous night that I wanted to go to my church for the 8 am service and said that as long as he got me home in time I could stay the night. Now I get up and change back into my clothes (he'd given me a t-shirt and sweats to sleep in). I don't do any real washing up, but I did brush my teeth - I always keep my travel toothbrush in my cosmetics bag and he proceeds to take his sweet, sweet time showering and getting dressed for his own church service. I didn't get home until almost 8 and at that point I was annoyed that he was so damn inconsiderate. He had the nerve to say to me "Want to go with me to church." My tart response was "Maybe next time when I am prepared for it."

So I was able to keep it in my pants. Was I at fault for some of the stuff that went down - yes, I probably should have spoken up, but I do think that God took care of his judgement by making sure I got no sleep (and not for a good reason like making sweet, sweet love) because of MV's snoring. I believe that a person tells you who they are when you first meet them and it's up to you to decide whether or not you can deal with who they are at that point. No one ever changes because you want them to, they change because they want to make that change. I decided after our 2nd date MV and I seem to be less compatible than I initially thought we were. I just don't think he's that into me and I'm thankful for meeting him because he helped to define what I want out of my mate even more. My mate needs to be interested in me, considerate, not a liar and some clearly defined goals for themselves.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

A nice surprise

Hello my faithful readers:

This weekend was chock full of surprise and adventure. Overall the weekend was great and the highlight was hanging out with my girls (Brookey, EJ and Momo) at the Ne-yo, Musiq and Jazmine Sullivan concert last night at Radio City. I was especially surprised by how fantastic Ne-yo is live - he made me want to go back and get some of his older CD's he was that good. I also had a couple of dates this weekend and let's just say both of them ended up being the total opposite of what I was expecting from them.

On Friday night I had a coffee date with The E-Card Stalker and was pleasantly surprised by how well we connected. I have to admit that I was totally NOT into going on this date as many of my co-workers can attest and almost considered backing out last minute. To get myself in the mood I went to get a manicure-pedicure at the local nail spot and ended up running almost 20 minutes late as a result. I know - this is definitely one of the things that if I were on the other side I would have been ticked off by, but in my defense I texted him 20 minutes prior to our meeting time to let him know that I was running late. He didn't get the text (apparently he is one of the few who doesn't check their phone after getting off the train), but things ended up working out and I got there about 20 minutes after our scheduled meeting time.

My first impression of The E-card Stalker was that he looked a HECK of a lot older than what his profile said he was. His face looked older than my father's face and I will admit now that my Dad has a babyface, but I remember thinking "how old is this guy really?" He was dressed casually in black jeans and a white t-shirt with a NY Yankees baseball hat and some sneakers. He's an attractive guy except for the fact that he looked way older than me. I felt like anyone looking at us would think I was meeting my pops for coffee.

I am sure I was still giving off an uninterested vibe at this point, but I did have the good sense to be apologetic about running so late. I cracked a few jokes about him not checking the phone and we were all good. The thing I liked most of about The E-card Stalker was our conversation. We connected on a number of topics and we debated on and off about relationships and the thing I remember most is his saying that "Women hold all of the power in relationships." I agree with this statement to a certain extent - we do hold power in our relationships, it's just a matter of being confident enough to assert our power in the right way. He also seemed to be pretty perceptive without me saying much correctly identified me as picky and more mature than my age might indicate. We both agreed that our biggest issue with online dating is that most people don't take the time to actually read the profiles before they make contact with the potential dates.

I learned a little bit more about him the more we talked and I found out he's African (has an accent and all), he went to college and worked in Canada for a few years before moving to Rochester to work at Kodak for 9 years before moving 3 years ago to NYC. He's working as a chemical engineer and says that this involves a lot of testing and I get the sense that he spends the majority of his time working. He's also a huge fan of sports especially football and basketball; he played football when he was younger.

We spent two and a half hours at Starbucks (we probably should have moved on to another location) and at by the end of the night he was sweet and walked me over to the entrance to my train and watched to make sure I got on the train safely, wise cracking that he wanted to make sure I got on safe because he was the last person to see me! Overall I appreciated his sense of humor and intelligence; I'd be willing to have a second date with him. He called me on Saturday evening and left me a nice message. I left him a nice return voicemail message on Sunday and haven't heard back from him yet. Hopefully we'll get the opportunity to go out on a 2nd date to continue getting to know each other better. The E-card Stalker was a nice surprise and a great way to kick-start my weekend. Although I'm not sure how physically attracted I am to him at this point - I think we could be friends at the very least.

Tomorrow I'll give you a little recap of my 2nd date with Mystervee. This date was also a bit of a surprise, but more on that tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this week so far I'm learning a lot about me and what I want with this whole project. I really appreciate everyone for giving me tips, advice and sharing their personal stories with me. You are all truly an inspiration to me. Here's to a great week!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

PS - I told him during the date that his e-cards were a little off putting to me, he was puzzled by it, but I think that I was able to make him understand why it might be weird to get them with such sappy language from a total stranger. I think after having met him that it might just be a cultural/age issue more than him being a total weirdo.

The E-card Stalker re-visited

Hello my faithful readers:

I hope that you all had a wonderful long weekend, I spent the weekend re-charging my battery after running myself a little ragged over the past few weeks. On Friday night my friend AG and I had dinner together. She inspired me with the story of how she and her fiance met and eventually got together and as I've heard from most of my friends the right one usually comes along when you're not really looking. My friend The Roodster's birthday celebration was also Friday night and I spent the night with our mutual friend PB, learning how to identify a Six Figure Man. PB is a self proclaimed expert and is currently hunting for a rich woman to marry him. After such an event filled week I decided taking a break was best for me and my health.

Now most of you who know me are aware that I celebrate Singles Awareness Day. I only sent one e-card that day and it was in response to another sappy e-card from 'The E-card Stalker."
Here's a link to the card I sent just because I couldn't take it anymore!:

http://www.someecards.com/upload/valentine_s_day/i_wanted_to_wish_you_a.html

Too mean? You decide although I thought it was pretty funny myself. He called me last night in response to my e-mail to him last week. I hadn't heard anything from him other than the lame e-card on V-day. Our conversation was sort of stilted just because when he called I didn't recognize the number and I said hello. We had an awkward couple of "Hello" exchanges until I finally impatiently said "Who is this?" He responded it's "The E-card Stalker" from Yahoo Personals. He proceeded to ask if I'd received his e-card and I said "Oh yea, I got your e-card and I sent one back to you."

I won't get into the rest of our awkward conversation, but we tentatively set up to have a quick coffee date on Friday. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but this guy rubbed me the wrong way on the phone. I know that some of this is all manufactured in my mind, but one of the main issues I have with him is that he sent me sappy e-cards before meeting me in person. It's just too weird for me. Hope you have a great week!

The e-card stalker

Hello my faithful readers:

It's Thursday and I'm looking forward to the long weekend! This week has been sort of low key for me, but tonight I am planning to head out with a couple of friends of mine for a Raphael Saddiq event at Soho House tonight. I'm more interested in checking out the venue, but it will be good to see some of his performance from a new show "Live From The Artists Den" airing on a PBS affiliate near you. Before the screening tonight I have french class, so I hope I can maintain enough energy to get through the night.

Most of my co-workers have heard me rant and rant about a gentleman I like to call the "E-card Stalker." On Monday I got a message on Yahoo Personals the other day.

Here's his note for your reading pleasure:

HELLO MISS "COLGATE SMILE',
WHY DO YOU KEEP SMILING AND WINKING AT ME
FROM YOUR PICTURES WHEN YOU WILL NOT EVEN
WRITE TO SAY HELLO TO A BROTHA ? LOL .
SEASON'S GREETINGS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
WRITE SOON AND STAY SWEET.

In response to this note I re-sent him an e-mail that he hadn't responded to a few months ago in his yahoo e-mail account. During this period of no communication between us, I received e-cards for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. This is where the "E-card Stalker" was born. I never responded to any of his e-cards because I thought it was downright weird of him to send e-cards, when he wasn't responding to my regular e-mail to him.

He responded to my forwarded note and said that my e-mail had gone into his junk mail by mistake. He inquired about my initial offer of setting up a coffee date, but I am so turned off by his e-cards to me that I'm not sure I can do it. All of his notes to me were super sappy and in my opinion inappropriate to send to someone you don't know very well. I don't do well with sappy men, in fact I'm a huge fan of people with snarky senses of humor; send me an e-card from someecards and I'm yours forever.

I'll keep you posted on whether or not I actually make it out on a coffee date with the "E-card Stalker." Although I want to keep an open mind about him, his weird e-cards have completely turned me off. How much do you want to bet I get a sappy Valentine's Day e-card from him? Have a wonderful day and I'll try to give you an update tomorrow about tonight.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

At Last...

Hello my faithful readers:

I'm quite excited because today folks I have a date! Yes let me repeat that again I HAVE A DATE! Whoo hoo! Ya! Hallelujah! It has been a few months since my last date so of course I'm sure you can tell I'm more than a little bit excited about this development. (I'm not counting the speed dating as an actual date for those of you who were wondering)

I decided to give Mystervee from Blacksingles.com another chance and he shot me an e-mail this morning proposing we meet up today. Even though I have french class tonight I said why the hell not?!? It'll be quick because of my class. A coffee date is a great low pressure way for both of us to determine whether it's worth pursuing a much longer date later on down the road.

Now the only concern I have personally is that I'm not necessarily as dressed up as I'd like to be on a first date. In fact setting up a date on the same day goes against my control freak nature as I ranted about in one of my earlier blogs, but I'm trying to open myself up to new things. I know that I'll have a great time no matter what, but again I wish that I'd known before I left my house this morning that I was going to be going on a date today. Thank goodness I'm at least wearing my skinny jeans and a decent sweater.

Mystervee sounded nice on the phone and he mentioned that he used to live in the Upper East Side (UES) and so far his voice was nice (no outrageous accents to speak of). Just a few of the basics about him - he's 37, lives in Jersey City, 6'3" and is an engineer and has no kids. He also laughed at a few of my jokes today so we'll see how we click in person. I'm praying that he actually looks his pictures because if he doesn't or he's actually 15 years older than those pics indicate then I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

Now that I'm getting the first date out of the way I'm working to get even more lined up. I'll make sure to provide a synopsis of our date on tomorrow's blog. Wish me luck!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Too picky?

Hello to all of you my faithful readers:

I could use an injection of energy today after my whirlwind tour of a couple of networking events last night. I consider last night a success as I met quite a few people that could help me out on both the business and personal levels. It was also great getting to hang out with one of my co-workers J-Dub and our mutual friend EB! J-Dub is a lot of fun and who knew she could shake her groove thang with the best of us!

I'll talk about one guy in particular that struck my fancy last night at the VMix/Buzz networking event (although I met a few). We'll call him N.O. Lawyer because I found out in conversation that he works as a financial lawyer (still have no idea what he really does), hasn't watched a music video in years (WHAT? for those of you that know me well it's pretty much a staple for me) and he's into sports. He seems nice enough and we had a bit of witty banter in our 15 minute conversation. I'm realizing that on all most of my initial conversations with men I never got to the most important information like is he single? So if we have a follow-up conversation I plan to get to the bottom of that mystery immediately. I liked his personality so much that I think he'd make a good friend for me; he was just such a chill and laughed at some of my jokes.

Now on to the real reason for this blog. Now I mentioned in yesterday's blog that I've been corresponding with a few people online at Blacksingles.com. Well in the spirit of being open minded I have relaxed my rigid standards just a bit, but I have to draw the line somewhere and I think my line stops right at - Poorgrammarspellingville. I also draw the line at people who seem to have stalker tendancies before I even meet them. So for your reading pleasure here are a few excerpts from a couple of my potential suitors:

Meet Mystervee (posted as sent):

Right now I'm taking class to keep busy while i have sometime off from work. My last project i worked on was Citifield the new Shea stadium.
My job is pretty cool considering all good things come to a end but it 's the camaraderie's of meeting new pple and no matter what it's always a better project on the horizon!

In my time i usually purchase property for a fast buck! I'm good with my hand's so it really come natural. I went to a auction on sat to see the average home now sells for 50K wow!

So when I'm not doing either I'm on my motorcycle or travel ling with a good book. I'm headed to London next week to catch with some friend's.

Meet dadoo14 (stalker who also has bad spelling and grammer errors):

Hie my new friend,
i made two attempted to see if you were on, but unfortunately you weren't. I hope you have a good time in those events, please make sure you don't have too much, because you were the only one i expected to have some fun with. You know i truely want to be in contact with you. I miss you so very much, i can not wait to be just there for you and you for me. Good night, sleep well and if somehow you have a chance to come online, leave me a message.

Now I pose this question to all of you my dear readers-- am I being too picky? I really think the first online guy Mystervee is attractive physically and he seems interesting (albeit unemployed). Can I forgive his lack of spell check and poor sentence structure and just make sure we never write to each other again? The stalker guy makes me nervous and I sent him a note saying he was making me uncomfortable because we didn't know each other well enough to miss each other. What do you think? I'm looking forward to seeing some of your comments on this one!

It's a good week so far!

Hello everyone:


It's Tuesday and a snowy day here in NYC. I'm not a snow person and generally when the snow falls I tend to want to go into hibernation mode so right now I'm on the fence about my plans this evening. I'm down a wing woman because my friend LJ who was planning to come with me is sick. Feel better girl! I promise for the sake of myself (and the blog) that I'll make every effort to get out tonight despite the snow and my own declining health.


Yesterday afternoon around 4:30 I got a phone call from Youngun. This time I do remember most of our conversation and he seems to be a very nice guy. He gave me his background - he's an actor (his claim to fame thus far is as an extra on the soap "As The World Turns" ), has a degree in International Marketing (maybe he can understand me when I start geeking out about work stuff?) and he is indeed 25 years old. I'm trying my hardest to be good this time around and not to repeat any of my bad dating habits. We'll get into some of them in later blogs I'm sure. We haven't made any plans yet, but I'll give him a call later this week to try to set something up for this weekend or next week. I sort of need my weekend to myself to decompress I realize now, because today it's Tuesday and I'm already feeling like my energy is waning. I'll have to watch that hanging around with kids like Youngun I suppose. :o)


Blacksingles.com also seems promising. I have been corresponding with a few guys on the site and the one pet peeve I have so far is all of the short men who ping me. It's as if I'm cat nip for men 5'8 and under. What's the deal with that? I guess they love the challenge of dating a tall woman, however I don't enjoy the challenge of leaning down to kiss my short man. I did it in high school and college and decided that this is one of my non-negotiables. The guy that's my mate will need to be taller than me. One of the things that makes online dating a challenge for me is the fact that a lot of daters have many misspellings and text lingo (e.g. u kno) on their profiles. It makes it harder for more me to decipher and in the end I want someone with a good handle on the English language. I'm trying to let go of my preconceived notions, but a girl has to have some standards. If anything develops with one of these guys I'll keep you posted.

Tonight I have a couple of networking events that I was considering hitting up. If anyone is interested in coming with as my wing woman or wingman please hit me up. One is a NAMIC panel discussion on "Multicultural Marketing" No judgements here please! I'm a geek and I'm hoping my geek guy will be there too. There is also a networking event from VMIX and Buzz, sounds like a nice time and maybe there will be some interesting people out despite the weather.

Tomorrow I hope that I'll have an update for you on my activities tonight. This all depends on whether I can muster up enough energy to make it out tonight. If this morning is any indication I might be passed out by the time the clock hits 5 PM. Have a great day today.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Weekend Update

Hello my faithful readers:


Hope you had a great weekend - I certainly had a ball. Although I didn't have any dates this weekend it certainly wasn't because I didn't put myself out there. I went out every single day this weekend, which for me is a BIG DEAL. I never go out every single day of the weekend normally, but this is a New Year and I'm working to maintain my new improved positive attitude. I also accomplished the amazing task of signing up and PAYING (yes I said it PAYING)for a new dating service. I'll talk more about on online dating services later.


Friday night I jump started my weekend by hanging out with JF at Caroline's for the Michael Ian Black (MIB) comedy show. MIB was funny and the host that night was particularly funny, even though some of the opening comics were disappointingly bad. It was my first time visiting Caroline's. I have to say that if you want to meet new people, Caroline's probably is not the best environment for cruising for dates, unless you hang out at the bar the whole time.


Bowling at Leisure Time in Port Authority was on the agenda for Saturday to celebrate my friend MK's birthday. Although I am not the best bowler in the world I had a great time and managed to hit a few pins before the end of the evening. I saw a few attractive men here, but it was hard to try chatting them up because they were at lanes way down at the other end of the alley. Bowling is only good for dating if you're doing it as a fun dating activity. It's hard to cruise for people at the bowling alley unless you hang out at the bar. We went out for drinks at a local bar afterwards (Bullmoose Lounge) where it was pretty quiet because we were there at 6:30 PM; probably a little early to have much of a social scene going on. I went home after our drinks for a quiet evening relaxing and watching a little tv.

Sunday was a busy day and I started my day by going out to brunch at Cowgirl for my newly engaged friend A's birthday. It was fun and I got to hang out with a few folks that I hadn't seen for a while - and for me always a good time for me. In conversation I mentioned my plan to go to Comic Con NYC this weekend and I think I might have someone who is interested in coming with me so that I don't have to brave it all by myself. I'll write more about Comic Con NYC later this week. After brunch with the lovely ladies at A's party I met up with one of my best friends GG; she's visiting from Houston and is pregnant with twins.

After hanging with GG I went home and one of my friends OJ gave me a call. He was reading the "Vows" section in the NY Times and saw an article about a couple that married after a whirlwind courtship. He said that the woman in the article reminded me of him and after reading it I can wholeheartedly say that we probably have many things in common (although I have never used my oven as storage space). Here's a link in case you missed it: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/01/fashion/weddings/01VOWS.html?_r=1

So after reading about the couple I was re-inspired to jump on my online dating efforts and signed up for a dating website that seemed interesting to me http://www.blacksingles.com/. I'm a paying member (for at least a month) and this is HUGE for me. I have always said that I don't believe in online dating, but after hearing about the story of the couple in the article I'm willing to give it a shot. I'm also planning to pay for my profile on Yahoo Personals and maybe one other to broaden my horizons. I've had a few emails back and forth on Black Singles and a couple of bites on Yahoo.

I have a good feeling about this week folks. It's already started off the right way for me and I hope the trend continues. Thanks again for all the notes, IM's and phone calls about the blog. Keep them coming I love hearing from you. If you like what you're reading here become a follower of my blog if you haven't already. Even those of you who get this e-mail passed along by our mutual friends.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach