Monday, March 30, 2009

Having "The Talk"

Hello my faithful readers:

Happy Monday to you all! This weekend went by way too quickly for me. I always come back to work every Monday thinking I could use one more day to just relax. Most of my time this weekend was divided between cleaning, grocery shopping and studying with a big emphasis on studying. I had a date on Friday night with Mr. Ex, which I'll recap in tomorrow's blog.

I recently read Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," as most of you know. While I don't necessarily take everything Steve says in the book to heart, I agree with most of the advice he gives. One of the things Steve recommends is waiting at least 90 days before having sex with someone. Steve's book isn't the first place I've heard this advice. In the past I haven't always waited like I know I should, but it is now my current policy. All of you may not agree with this policy because it might work for you and because if I'm honest with myself, sometimes it's freakin HARD to wait. My hormones are constantly telling me "Girl you better do something about this drought situation RIGHT NOW!" (I hear crickets chirping right now so I must be the ONLY one with raging hormones).

Cut to last Thursday night during one of my phone conversations with Mr. Ex. Generally he asks intelligent, thought provoking questions and up to this point we'd been getting closer and closer to really discussing the 'sex issue' for a while. Finally he breaks out with a question that shook me a little "Have you ever been pregnant before?" I answered honestly with no and also added that I have no desire to get pregnant at this point in my life. We talked a little bit more and then I broke the news to him that I'm not planning to sleep with him for at least 90 days. His reaction to my bombshell was very eye-opening and surprising for me because up until this point he'd been very gentlemanly.

He basically said he didn't think waiting 90 days was possible and that he'd never heard of such a thing from a woman before. I just laughed and said that it was one of my requirements and that he could take it or leave it. Then he proceeded to say that he didn't know that he could wait for me and that I would have a hard time finding someone willing to wait 90 days. Then he tried to convince me that things have to happen naturally and you can't put deadlines on things. The kicker of the whole conversation for me was the fact that he said he felt like I should have put this bit of information up on my profile. That statement alone was HYSTERICAL to me (really put this on my dating profile). He also told me he felt that you run out of things to do on dates if you don't sleep with each other at some point within the 90 day window. I just laughed at all of his arguments for not waiting for 90 days, but inside I was thanking my lucky stars that this topic came up and I was hearing his real unedited reaction to the issue. My CPS was (and is still) in full effect now since our conversation (thanks Digi Jay for the terminology).

We had a few more back and forth exchanges and then decided to continue with our date plans for Friday night. In hindsight I have no idea why I agreed to go out with him again; after our conversation I figured it would be a waste of both of our time. I truly believe at this point he was planning to try to convince me of the error of my ways on Friday. In Mr. Ex's defense he said that having sex with me wasn't the only reason he was interested in me. Our conversation gave me lots to think about and made me realize that there is wisdom in waiting 90 days, because you can truly do more fact finding about the other person; like a trial period to figure out whether it's worth going further. I know that having a 90 day waiting period isn't the right choice for everyone, but for me at this stage in my life (and my emotional growth), it's the right choice for me.

I hope you have a great week - so far this one seems to be off to a good start for me. I'm feeling good and I believe we're in for some beautiful weather this week. Tomorrow I'll blog about our date on Friday after our Thursday night 'talk.'

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

7 comments:

Latinegro said...

Are you kidding me? Like, he cant be really serious? Let me tell you my response to you if you told me I had to wait 90 days...

"Really, so after 90 we get to have sex....sheeeeeeet...does that start today? Or was the clock set after the first date?"

That man can wait. That is what masterbation is for. Anyman who thinks a woman is worth it...will wait.

Georgia Peach said...

LN- thanks. That's the reaction I expected from this guy given the way our dating had gone up until this point. Boy was I surprised by his reaction.

Oh and we discussed masturbation and apparently he doesn't do it. LOL...

Brooke said...

Wow, dude didn't even try to fake it? Most men would have said, "oh, I respect that" while trying to devise a plan to talk or "act" you out of that decision. But hey, at least he was honest, even if he was being ridiculous about it. Three months won't kill anyone, and if dude isn't creative enough to keep you interested for 90 days, then he'll probably set a new record for Black History.

Brooke said...

And he's a damn lie if he says he doesn't masturbate. I have yet to meet a man who doesn't. Damn lie! LOL!!

Latinegro said...

That is crap. All men masterbate. So he is lying on that!

...and you know, even if he is telling the truth, one has to wonder what he does in order to avoid blue balls.

I am not sure I would not trust someone who does not pleasure themselves...

Georgia Peach said...

Agreed...if he were a woman I MIGHT believe he never does it, but... he did admit to me (I didn't put it into the blog) that the last time he had sex was before he met me. That might have changed since my 90 day rule was revealed though.

Brooke said...

I think that's bullsh*t too, cuz according to HIM, he doesn't masturbate and he doesn't wait longer than 90 days to have sex - so I doubt he hasn't had sex since before he met you. He's full of sh*t.