Thursday, February 26, 2009
It's Thursday and this week has been low key so far for me. I had a nice dinner with some of my old A&E co-workers K&M. It has been a long time since we got to talk with either of them at any length (I've been at my current job for almost two years now). I'm really looking forward to this weekend because I'll get the chance to catch up with some of my friends and have a 2nd date with The E-Card Stalker (as long as I can shake the cold I seem to be getting).
My friend Brookey broke the news to me that the Youngun (mentioned in a previous blog) has a girlfriend or at least some girl that he wanted to make his Valentine this year. Brookey and I met him at my party a few weeks ago and they realized they know each other from the gym. Apparently he texts her too and thinks that we're all friends (he even told her that I went to Comic Con-- go figure)! I was just surprised that I came up in their conversation with each other, but he never mentioned to me that he was keeping in touch with Brookey.
I haven't talked much about Youngun since the time we met, but we had a few phone conversations and he texts me almost like clockwork every other day or so. For example last night I received this text from him " Hey what's up miss...hope all is well with ya." Sometimes he texts me asking what I'm doing and despite my hatred for texting full conversations I respond to his texts. He texts and calls because he needs someone to help him get put on and realizing that now, I guess I can't knock his hustle, we did meet at a networking party for those working in the TV industry.
Without realizing it I've stumbled into new territory for me --a category of friends called Platonic Activity Partners. For me this is just another way to say I've been put into the FRIEND ZONE. For men this is normally the kiss of death when they realize that a woman has put them into this category if they are trying to pursue her. Normally I'm the one to put men into the friend zone so it was a little unsettling for me to realize that I had been put into the friend zone. Now I've never been one of those women who has a problem being platonic with my male friends and actually I'm more comfortable with men than I am with women anyway (most of my closest friends are men), but I know that many people (mostly men) feel that men and women can't be just friends in the platonic sense.
Realizing that I was the Youngun's new Platonic Activity Partner also made me realize that my radar is a little bit off as to realizing when men are interested in me for a relationship. At this point I'm not sure I can trust my own interpretations of the actions of the men I come into contact with, because my radar seems to be off quite a bit recently. Although it's disconcerting I think this is a good thing for me, because I'll be more cautious and ask more questions moving forward. How many of you have stumbled into the Platonic Activity Partners category without realizing it?
I hope that you all enjoy the rest of your week! I highly recommend you go outside today if you're living in NYC because our weather is supposed to hit at least 50 today! I know that I'm planning to go outside and find a little sunshine and get some fresh air.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Happy Tuesday! Today I'm in a great mood because I heard Mary J. Blige's song "Just Fine." She has a couple of lines that describe exactly how I'm feeling right now:
No time for moping around, are you kidding?
And no time for negative vibes, cause I’m winning
It’s been a long week, I put in my hardest
Gonna live my life, feels so good to get it right
MV finally called me around 1 pm on Saturday about meeting up that day. He asked what I felt like doing that day and I told him I was open to whatever he wanted to do with the exception of skydiving. He seemed to be at a loss for ideas so I threw out the idea of going to see the Oscar nominated shorts at the IFC Theater (thanks MILF for the suggestion). I jumped online to look for times and called out a few to him and was in the process of asking what time we should meet up when my landline rang. I told him I would call him back in about 5 minutes. I get back upstairs and called him and his voicemail picks up and I left a message telling him to call me back.
When I didn't hear from him within the next few minutes I continued cleaning my apartment and before you know it a few hours had passed. I realized if we were going to do this date thing I should probably figure out where he was so I texted him "U ok?" and he called me back immediately. Apparently he had headed into the city and was waiting for me. WTF? I was like we never confirmed a time so why did you come in without speaking to me? He said he was already heading in and he had been walking around killing time. I told him I needed about an hour and a half to get there to meet him and he releases a huge sigh and already I'm thinking to myself 'Who goes into the city without confirming a time or meeting place and what's the deal with your attitude?'
Realizing that I could have called him again or texted him earlier, I put a move on and jumped in the shower and head into the city. I call him before hopping on the train and we decide that we'll meet up in the West Village. When I meet him at the Barnes & Noble where he'd been killing time (secretly I loved that he chose to kill time in the bookstore) he asked what I felt like doing. I told him I was hungry and he mentioned that he had already eaten while waiting for me. Since I thought we were trying to catch the movie and it was a little after 7 I said that I could go for a slice of pizza.
While walking to the pizzeria I checked him out and noticed immediately that I hated his shoes. I then said "Oh you dressed up today" and he said "Oh no, I didn't I just have on a t-shirt under here." Folks I really wish that he hadn't unzipped his pullover sweater because the t-shirt he had on underneath had a little stain on it. and it wasn't the nicest t-shirt I'd ever seen. Mentally from that moment on I was paying extra attention to every action and every word he said. I realize now that this was probably the defining moment of the date for me because from that moment on lots of little things bothered me (subliminally).
We went to the pizzeria right next to the IFC Theater - I mentioned I didn't have any cash on me and he gave me a look and said "Oh you're one of those people who doesn't carry cash on you." I ordered a cheese slice and a bottle of water (he paid) and we sat in the back of the shop, I ate my slice and proceeded to question him more. The next thing that started to bother me was the fact that although I was asking him questions to get to know him better, there seemed to be no curiosity on his part about me.
Instead of going to the movies we decided to move on to a restaurant called Cuba for the mojitos (he suggested the place). It was cute and we both ordered mojitos , surprisingly he said it was too strong for him. We chatted a bit more and during conversation at Cuba I found out that he was older than I realized. It slipped out in the course of our conversation about birthday celebrations; he said that he was planning to celebrate his this year because it was a big one. He was turning 40. Although I didn't call him on the discrepancy I thought to myself - you're 39, but your profile at www.blacksingles.com says you're 37। Please believe I went home after our date and re-checked his profile and it indeed says that he's 37.
We got there and I have to say his house is pretty amazing. It was HUGE, although very masculine, tastefully decorated. He told me to make myself comfy, handed me the remote to his TV and headed into the kitchen to cook something to eat. I kept telling him I wasn't hungry, but he insisted on cooking for me (I never ate any of it because I made it clear I wasn't hungry). We sat there for a while watching TV together, then he tried to make out a bit and I told him "No" and explained that hey I liked him, but I'm not that easy. Here is where I must remind you that even though mentally I was turned off by a few things about MV, he is still damn FINE. Physically it was really hard for me to stand my ground and keep it in my pants. I give him kudos for being respectful of me and immediately backing off without pushing the issue.
Our date turned into a sleep over with my simple request for a blanket. It was a little chilly, we were downstairs watching TV and then he said "We'll be more comfortable up in my room." Now this move sealed my fate - I was going to get NO SLEEP that night, by agreeing to be his snuggle bunny for the night. You know why? Because this dude snores like a damn chainsaw. He snored and snored and snored. I realized that God was punishing me for not speaking up and getting my ass out of there by torturing me with MV's loud snoring. Needless to say, snoring IS NOT SEXY and his snoring is so bad that even if I didn't have other issues with him, for the snoring alone it I'm not sure I could see him again.
We finally got moving early that morning around 6:30. I'd mentioned to him the previous night that I wanted to go to my church for the 8 am service and said that as long as he got me home in time I could stay the night. Now I get up and change back into my clothes (he'd given me a t-shirt and sweats to sleep in). I don't do any real washing up, but I did brush my teeth - I always keep my travel toothbrush in my cosmetics bag and he proceeds to take his sweet, sweet time showering and getting dressed for his own church service. I didn't get home until almost 8 and at that point I was annoyed that he was so damn inconsiderate. He had the nerve to say to me "Want to go with me to church." My tart response was "Maybe next time when I am prepared for it."
So I was able to keep it in my pants. Was I at fault for some of the stuff that went down - yes, I probably should have spoken up, but I do think that God took care of his judgement by making sure I got no sleep (and not for a good reason like making sweet, sweet love) because of MV's snoring. I believe that a person tells you who they are when you first meet them and it's up to you to decide whether or not you can deal with who they are at that point. No one ever changes because you want them to, they change because they want to make that change. I decided after our 2nd date MV and I seem to be less compatible than I initially thought we were. I just don't think he's that into me and I'm thankful for meeting him because he helped to define what I want out of my mate even more. My mate needs to be interested in me, considerate, not a liar and some clearly defined goals for themselves.
Monday, February 23, 2009
This weekend was chock full of surprise and adventure. Overall the weekend was great and the highlight was hanging out with my girls (Brookey, EJ and Momo) at the Ne-yo, Musiq and Jazmine Sullivan concert last night at Radio City. I was especially surprised by how fantastic Ne-yo is live - he made me want to go back and get some of his older CD's he was that good. I also had a couple of dates this weekend and let's just say both of them ended up being the total opposite of what I was expecting from them.
On Friday night I had a coffee date with The E-Card Stalker and was pleasantly surprised by how well we connected. I have to admit that I was totally NOT into going on this date as many of my co-workers can attest and almost considered backing out last minute. To get myself in the mood I went to get a manicure-pedicure at the local nail spot and ended up running almost 20 minutes late as a result. I know - this is definitely one of the things that if I were on the other side I would have been ticked off by, but in my defense I texted him 20 minutes prior to our meeting time to let him know that I was running late. He didn't get the text (apparently he is one of the few who doesn't check their phone after getting off the train), but things ended up working out and I got there about 20 minutes after our scheduled meeting time.
My first impression of The E-card Stalker was that he looked a HECK of a lot older than what his profile said he was. His face looked older than my father's face and I will admit now that my Dad has a babyface, but I remember thinking "how old is this guy really?" He was dressed casually in black jeans and a white t-shirt with a NY Yankees baseball hat and some sneakers. He's an attractive guy except for the fact that he looked way older than me. I felt like anyone looking at us would think I was meeting my pops for coffee.
I am sure I was still giving off an uninterested vibe at this point, but I did have the good sense to be apologetic about running so late. I cracked a few jokes about him not checking the phone and we were all good. The thing I liked most of about The E-card Stalker was our conversation. We connected on a number of topics and we debated on and off about relationships and the thing I remember most is his saying that "Women hold all of the power in relationships." I agree with this statement to a certain extent - we do hold power in our relationships, it's just a matter of being confident enough to assert our power in the right way. He also seemed to be pretty perceptive without me saying much correctly identified me as picky and more mature than my age might indicate. We both agreed that our biggest issue with online dating is that most people don't take the time to actually read the profiles before they make contact with the potential dates.
I learned a little bit more about him the more we talked and I found out he's African (has an accent and all), he went to college and worked in Canada for a few years before moving to Rochester to work at Kodak for 9 years before moving 3 years ago to NYC. He's working as a chemical engineer and says that this involves a lot of testing and I get the sense that he spends the majority of his time working. He's also a huge fan of sports especially football and basketball; he played football when he was younger.
We spent two and a half hours at Starbucks (we probably should have moved on to another location) and at by the end of the night he was sweet and walked me over to the entrance to my train and watched to make sure I got on the train safely, wise cracking that he wanted to make sure I got on safe because he was the last person to see me! Overall I appreciated his sense of humor and intelligence; I'd be willing to have a second date with him. He called me on Saturday evening and left me a nice message. I left him a nice return voicemail message on Sunday and haven't heard back from him yet. Hopefully we'll get the opportunity to go out on a 2nd date to continue getting to know each other better. The E-card Stalker was a nice surprise and a great way to kick-start my weekend. Although I'm not sure how physically attracted I am to him at this point - I think we could be friends at the very least.
Tomorrow I'll give you a little recap of my 2nd date with Mystervee. This date was also a bit of a surprise, but more on that tomorrow. I have a good feeling about this week so far I'm learning a lot about me and what I want with this whole project. I really appreciate everyone for giving me tips, advice and sharing their personal stories with me. You are all truly an inspiration to me. Here's to a great week!
PS - I told him during the date that his e-cards were a little off putting to me, he was puzzled by it, but I think that I was able to make him understand why it might be weird to get them with such sappy language from a total stranger. I think after having met him that it might just be a cultural/age issue more than him being a total weirdo.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Happy Friday to you! As usual I'm very happy to see this weekend come. This week in general has been quite busy for me at work and I feel a sense of accomplishment for the first time in weeks. My weekend is shaping up to be busier than I planned. I have a date tonight, a date tomorrow and on Sunday I'll be celebrating Brookey's birthday with the girls at the
Ne-yo/Musiq / Jazmine Sullivan concert at Radio City Music Hall. I am super excited about life right now and I keep pinching myself, because while the world seems to be crumbling around us all, things for me personally are moving in the right direction.
Yesterday I finally heard from Mystervee after his trip to London. He texted me (apparently our little conversation about my preference for phone calls didn't register at all) asking me how my day was going. I texted him back telling him I was headed to French class and said I'd call him later. I did call him back (HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME) when I got home after class and we had a nice conversation. I learned a little bit more about him and if I'm completely honest with you guys, I like him a little bit more after our chat last night. He continues to surprise me, but the one thing I get from him is that he seems to be an adventure junkie. This is my own little mini-profile of him based on the little I know about him; he's taken flying lessons before he rides a motorcycle and is into action sports.
I've heard him mention to me twice now in separate conversations that he wants someone spontaneous. I asked him to explain what he meant by that yesterday and he said "I want someone who doesn't take forever to get ready and he doesn't want to hear about her problems with her hair." Now for me this doesn't necessarily mean a person is spontaneous. However, I get the feeling that he's a last minute plans kind of guy. Last minute planning goes totally against my nature although I love being spontaneous as much as the next person. Personally I need to have a general outline of my plans and activities so that I can fit in all of the things I have to get done on a daily basis.
This morning I received a lovely early morning (8:30 AM) text from him saying "Sorry for babbling so much last night but I would like 2 c u," My response text was "I want to c u too, how about Saturday? U weren't babbling." I have mentioned before on this blog that I like to have my dates planned ahead - even if I didn't have another date tonight, I probably would have insisted on doing something on my next available free night. We're meeting up tomorrow for our second date. We have not confirmed what we're doing, but I want him to come up with something this time. I'll admit that pushing the date to my preferred day was a small win for me and my ego. I hope that if we decide to date each other more we can find a compromise for scheduling our time together that makes both of us happy.
Tonight I'm supposed to have a coffee date with The E-card Stalker and I am working to keep a positive attitude about it. He called me last night and left me a voicemail message (when I was in transit from French class) asking me to call him back to confirm our plans. I called him back, but never heard from him. If I don't hear from him today I'm going home after work. I'll let you know on Monday what happens with him.
Thanks again for all the love and support for the blog. I love hearing from you all and sharing your experiences with me. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend. Keep warm this weekend if you're up here in NYC - it's supposed to be cold!
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
I hope that you all had a wonderful long weekend, I spent the weekend re-charging my battery after running myself a little ragged over the past few weeks. On Friday night my friend AG and I had dinner together. She inspired me with the story of how she and her fiance met and eventually got together and as I've heard from most of my friends the right one usually comes along when you're not really looking. My friend The Roodster's birthday celebration was also Friday night and I spent the night with our mutual friend PB, learning how to identify a Six Figure Man. PB is a self proclaimed expert and is currently hunting for a rich woman to marry him. After such an event filled week I decided taking a break was best for me and my health.
Now most of you who know me are aware that I celebrate Singles Awareness Day. I only sent one e-card that day and it was in response to another sappy e-card from 'The E-card Stalker."
Here's a link to the card I sent just because I couldn't take it anymore!:
Too mean? You decide although I thought it was pretty funny myself. He called me last night in response to my e-mail to him last week. I hadn't heard anything from him other than the lame e-card on V-day. Our conversation was sort of stilted just because when he called I didn't recognize the number and I said hello. We had an awkward couple of "Hello" exchanges until I finally impatiently said "Who is this?" He responded it's "The E-card Stalker" from Yahoo Personals. He proceeded to ask if I'd received his e-card and I said "Oh yea, I got your e-card and I sent one back to you."
I won't get into the rest of our awkward conversation, but we tentatively set up to have a quick coffee date on Friday. I'm trying to keep an open mind, but this guy rubbed me the wrong way on the phone. I know that some of this is all manufactured in my mind, but one of the main issues I have with him is that he sent me sappy e-cards before meeting me in person. It's just too weird for me. Hope you have a great week!
Thursday, February 12, 2009
It's Thursday and I'm looking forward to the long weekend! This week has been sort of low key for me, but tonight I am planning to head out with a couple of friends of mine for a Raphael Saddiq event at Soho House tonight. I'm more interested in checking out the venue, but it will be good to see some of his performance from a new show "Live From The Artists Den" airing on a PBS affiliate near you. Before the screening tonight I have french class, so I hope I can maintain enough energy to get through the night.
Most of my co-workers have heard me rant and rant about a gentleman I like to call the "E-card Stalker." On Monday I got a message on Yahoo Personals the other day.
Here's his note for your reading pleasure:
HELLO MISS "COLGATE SMILE',
WHY DO YOU KEEP SMILING AND WINKING AT ME
FROM YOUR PICTURES WHEN YOU WILL NOT EVEN
WRITE TO SAY HELLO TO A BROTHA ? LOL .
SEASON'S GREETINGS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR.
WRITE SOON AND STAY SWEET.
In response to this note I re-sent him an e-mail that he hadn't responded to a few months ago in his yahoo e-mail account. During this period of no communication between us, I received e-cards for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. This is where the "E-card Stalker" was born. I never responded to any of his e-cards because I thought it was downright weird of him to send e-cards, when he wasn't responding to my regular e-mail to him.
He responded to my forwarded note and said that my e-mail had gone into his junk mail by mistake. He inquired about my initial offer of setting up a coffee date, but I am so turned off by his e-cards to me that I'm not sure I can do it. All of his notes to me were super sappy and in my opinion inappropriate to send to someone you don't know very well. I don't do well with sappy men, in fact I'm a huge fan of people with snarky senses of humor; send me an e-card from someecards and I'm yours forever.
I'll keep you posted on whether or not I actually make it out on a coffee date with the "E-card Stalker." Although I want to keep an open mind about him, his weird e-cards have completely turned me off. How much do you want to bet I get a sappy Valentine's Day e-card from him? Have a wonderful day and I'll try to give you an update tomorrow about tonight.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Hope that you're all enjoying this fine Tuesday morning. I have to say that you guys are some of the most supportive people I've ever met. Thanks for all of the advice and support you have given me along the way and here's where I encourage you all to keep it coming, because I LOVE hearing from you.
Last night I went out with one of my co-workers, Ms. Vega, to a lovely networking event for a group called Supernodes at a very sexy wine bar called CLO in the Time Warner Center. It was a futuristic experience and eventually I'd like to go back under less crowded circumstances. I felt like I was at my high school reunion because I saw a bunch of my old co-workers from IDJ and it was great seeing that everyone is doing so well now.
One of the people I met, a great guy named T, and I ended up getting into a discussion about women and their relationships with men. I'm not sure how we even got on the subject so quickly, but he said that women need to tell men what it is they want, simply because men aren't mind-readers and all women are different. One thing he said really resonated with me "Women always have it easier because with men if you get the general [owners] manual for a man, you basically have an understanding of how to deal with most men. With women each one requires a different 300 page [owners] manual. I'd never really thought of myself or any of my female friends in these terms and it made me realize that perhaps he's on to something. I know that I'm definitely like any of my friends when it comes to dating and relationships.
T also brought up something last night that I had been complaining about for a while now. He said that texting has made dating life much easier for men. Men can send a mass text messages to all of their girls and it makes us ladies feel our guy is actually thinking about us. Texting also offers the guys the opportunity to get assistance from their boys on what to say in the text. Plus texting allows us all to take our time in responding versus a phone or in person conversation.
His comments caused me to think about my own current situation. Last Friday the day after our first coffee date Mystervee texted me to say he enjoyed the meeting. Then he continued to hold a full text conversation until after a few exchanges it ended. I complained to my friend Digi Jay and he gave me a piece of advice that blew my mind. Quite simply he said to text MV with the following message: CALL ME. This advice was mind boggling for me, because as outspoken as I normally am, I'd never even considered saying something about my issues with texting. Now I probably should explain that my biggest issue with texting is more about having a full on conversation via text. I don't mind if you use it to pass along quick information or confirm a meeting time or something along those lines, but if your text requires a several text message back and forth exchange; personally I'd prefer it if you just picked up the phone to call me. So I suffered through lots of texting during the weekend and finally when we were talking [on the phone] last night I finally told him that I hated texting and preferred to have conversations on the phone if we couldn't see each other.
You know what? I actually felt much better after I got that off my chest. Now we'll see what happens with MV after my comment, I'm hoping he was listening and not just hearing what I said. I have a feeling that we'll be good friends at the end of our experience if nothing else, but I won't be nearly as afraid to say what I mean with any of the guys I date. Now I just have to break all of my new friends of their texting habits. Yep the Youngun is also a big text abuser!
Monday, February 9, 2009
It's Monday morning and I'm in a great mood today. The weather is warmer, my weekend was great and quite simply I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have a storm cloud hanging over my head. This week is going to be fantastic and it all started with my weekend at Comic Con NYC.
Comic Con NYC is a 3 day festival at Jacob Javitts Center here in NYC. I bought the weekend pass for $50; overall I felt like the pass was well worth the money although I only attended the Saturday and Sunday sessions. The fest is massive and there is a main floor where you walk in and you're assaulted by the crowds, noise and lots and lots of costumed people walking around. Even on my walk over from the subway I saw people in full costume and boy do they take it seriously. There are all sorts of people at this convention every combination of man, woman, child you'd ever want to see was in attendance. For me that was quite exciting because my plan was to meet lots of new people here.
My first tip for those hoping to meet new people at Comic Con is to be open-minded. There's a lot to see and loads of new and exciting activities to try out if you're open-minded. The great thing about Comic Con that was appealing to me is that it's not just about the comic books. Comic books are a huge part of the fest, but if you're a fan of TV, film or video games then there's something there for you as well. I attended a few of the TV show panels (Chuck and Joss Whedon's panel on his new show Dollhouse) and had a great time in them. The main floor was a lot of fun too and I even ran into some of my favorite tv/movie characters from childhood by walking around and exploring.
The second thing I'd recommend is to try wearing a costume or as I did a colorful wig. Getting noticed at Comic Con is nearly impossible without flying your freak flag at least a little bit. I noticed that more folks were willing to talk to me when I had the wig on than without it. What's ironic about this advice is that although there are lots of people in costumes at Comic Con, there were a lot more people not wearing them.
My last bit of advice is to talk to people. Sounds simplistic, but it's something that I didn't do quite as much of just because I was simply in awe of all the visual stimulation. It was also intimidating because I'm not such a super fan that I knew every single comic book character or type of anime. I heard lots of in depth conversations about the development of character and story by many of the fans and to be honest I was intimidated because what they were talking about sounded like Greek to me as a casual observer. I think if I had asked a few questions most people would have been glad to explain the intricacies of their favorite comic books and characters.
Now going into this experience a lot of my friends (some of you my dear readers!) warned me that I would absolutely hate going to Comic Con. Guess what? I'm a HUGE pop culture geek and being at Comic Con was amazing for me. It felt like I was hanging out with some of my favorite childhood friends once again. Comic Con is the place where you're free to let your imagination run wild and your inner child have some fun. This is something I think a lot of people could use right now, given how grim our future seems with wars and economic meltdowns hanging over our heads.
Did I make a love connection at Comic Con? No, but there were an awful lot of cuties walking around throughout the weekend. It's definitely not as bad as most of us imagined and I had a great time hanging out there. I think I found a new way to spend my time this weekend and next year I want to go back! I also have to say a special thank you to my friend A and G for hanging out with me on Sunday! I had a lot of fun when they both joined and geeked out a little with me!
Friday, February 6, 2009
TGIF! I have to say that although I've had a wonderful time this week my battery is running a little low and I need to take tonight off and get some much needed rest. I hope that you all go out and have a ball for me, because I'm planning to sit at home in my PJ's catching up on all the TV shows on my DVR and netflix.
Now I know that most of you are waiting to find out more about how last night went with Mystervee (MV). As I mentioned in yesterday's blog we met up for a quick coffee date. I arrived before he did and waited for a few minutes before ordering my drink (we agreed to go dutch prior to meeting up). After I got my drink I headed upstairs to the lounge area to grab a table. MV came in about ten minutes late and because I was upstairs he said he stood there for a while before texting me. Meanwhile I had texted him to order his drink and meet me in the upstairs lounge area. Ironically neither of us is a coffee drinker (but we ordered variations of the same tea). I mentally docked him a few points for him showing up so late(of course)!
The first thing I thought when MV came up was Thank God he does look like his pictures plus he really is 6'3 (SCORE). He was dressed casually in a button down shirt (navy), blue jeans and some timbs. We greeted each other with a nice hug and he took off all his winter gear and sat down to chat. He's got a great smile and I was happy that his looks were equally matched by his intelligence.
Overall the conversation was good last night. I slipped into Oprah Winfrey mode and asked most of the questions that popped into my head about him. I did edit some of the crazy stuff out :o) maybe we'll get to it in the future. MV seems to be a nice guy and I found out that his birthday is exactly 7 days before mine one of the first of many things we have in common. He loves to travel, is into indie films (he's a regular at the Angelika theater and has a subscription to Netflix), seems to be a family man and has a crazy tea obsession. Although he's between projects right now, MV is an electrical engineer. From our conversation last night, it sounds as if he's used to the breaks between projects and uses the time to travel abroad and buy real estate. I'll have to do more research about his work situation if we decide to have another date. The biggest surprise for me about him was the fact that he is divorced; obviously I didn't notice it on his profile prior to our date. I respected the fact that he had nothing negative to say about his experience, it just didn't work out for him and his ex-wife.
I had to hustle out after about an hour to get to french class on time and was sad I had to leave. We walked to the train together and he hopped on the Path back to his condo in Jersey City and me to my french class at the 92nd Street Y. Our parting hug was nice and overall I felt like I'd met someone a lot like me (my male clone perhaps?), which for me isn't a bad thing. MV was physically attractive, confident and down to earth. Plus we like a lot of the same things and hang out in some of the same hoods. I hope that we'll mutually decide to hang out again as I can see the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
This weekend I'm planning to hit up Comic Con NYC (insert jokes here). It should be a fun time and a few of my friends are planning to come through. I'm confirmed to meet one of my co-workers A and we'll hit up a few panels from our favorite shows. Hope that you all have a wonderful weekend and as always thanks for reading!
PS - Neither of us said we'd call each other at the end of our night, nor have I heard from him yet. So I'm not getting my hopes up!
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I'm quite excited because today folks I have a date! Yes let me repeat that again I HAVE A DATE! Whoo hoo! Ya! Hallelujah! It has been a few months since my last date so of course I'm sure you can tell I'm more than a little bit excited about this development. (I'm not counting the speed dating as an actual date for those of you who were wondering)
I decided to give Mystervee from Blacksingles.com another chance and he shot me an e-mail this morning proposing we meet up today. Even though I have french class tonight I said why the hell not?!? It'll be quick because of my class. A coffee date is a great low pressure way for both of us to determine whether it's worth pursuing a much longer date later on down the road.
Now the only concern I have personally is that I'm not necessarily as dressed up as I'd like to be on a first date. In fact setting up a date on the same day goes against my control freak nature as I ranted about in one of my earlier blogs, but I'm trying to open myself up to new things. I know that I'll have a great time no matter what, but again I wish that I'd known before I left my house this morning that I was going to be going on a date today. Thank goodness I'm at least wearing my skinny jeans and a decent sweater.
Mystervee sounded nice on the phone and he mentioned that he used to live in the Upper East Side (UES) and so far his voice was nice (no outrageous accents to speak of). Just a few of the basics about him - he's 37, lives in Jersey City, 6'3" and is an engineer and has no kids. He also laughed at a few of my jokes today so we'll see how we click in person. I'm praying that he actually looks his pictures because if he doesn't or he's actually 15 years older than those pics indicate then I'm going to be sorely disappointed.
Now that I'm getting the first date out of the way I'm working to get even more lined up. I'll make sure to provide a synopsis of our date on tomorrow's blog. Wish me luck!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
I could use an injection of energy today after my whirlwind tour of a couple of networking events last night. I consider last night a success as I met quite a few people that could help me out on both the business and personal levels. It was also great getting to hang out with one of my co-workers J-Dub and our mutual friend EB! J-Dub is a lot of fun and who knew she could shake her groove thang with the best of us!
I'll talk about one guy in particular that struck my fancy last night at the VMix/Buzz networking event (although I met a few). We'll call him N.O. Lawyer because I found out in conversation that he works as a financial lawyer (still have no idea what he really does), hasn't watched a music video in years (WHAT? for those of you that know me well it's pretty much a staple for me) and he's into sports. He seems nice enough and we had a bit of witty banter in our 15 minute conversation. I'm realizing that on all most of my initial conversations with men I never got to the most important information like is he single? So if we have a follow-up conversation I plan to get to the bottom of that mystery immediately. I liked his personality so much that I think he'd make a good friend for me; he was just such a chill and laughed at some of my jokes.
Now on to the real reason for this blog. Now I mentioned in yesterday's blog that I've been corresponding with a few people online at Blacksingles.com. Well in the spirit of being open minded I have relaxed my rigid standards just a bit, but I have to draw the line somewhere and I think my line stops right at - Poorgrammarspellingville. I also draw the line at people who seem to have stalker tendancies before I even meet them. So for your reading pleasure here are a few excerpts from a couple of my potential suitors:
Meet Mystervee (posted as sent):
Right now I'm taking class to keep busy while i have sometime off from work. My last project i worked on was Citifield the new Shea stadium.
My job is pretty cool considering all good things come to a end but it 's the camaraderie's of meeting new pple and no matter what it's always a better project on the horizon!
In my time i usually purchase property for a fast buck! I'm good with my hand's so it really come natural. I went to a auction on sat to see the average home now sells for 50K wow!
So when I'm not doing either I'm on my motorcycle or travel ling with a good book. I'm headed to London next week to catch with some friend's.
Meet dadoo14 (stalker who also has bad spelling and grammer errors):
Hie my new friend,
i made two attempted to see if you were on, but unfortunately you weren't. I hope you have a good time in those events, please make sure you don't have too much, because you were the only one i expected to have some fun with. You know i truely want to be in contact with you. I miss you so very much, i can not wait to be just there for you and you for me. Good night, sleep well and if somehow you have a chance to come online, leave me a message.
Now I pose this question to all of you my dear readers-- am I being too picky? I really think the first online guy Mystervee is attractive physically and he seems interesting (albeit unemployed). Can I forgive his lack of spell check and poor sentence structure and just make sure we never write to each other again? The stalker guy makes me nervous and I sent him a note saying he was making me uncomfortable because we didn't know each other well enough to miss each other. What do you think? I'm looking forward to seeing some of your comments on this one!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
It's Tuesday and a snowy day here in NYC. I'm not a snow person and generally when the snow falls I tend to want to go into hibernation mode so right now I'm on the fence about my plans this evening. I'm down a wing woman because my friend LJ who was planning to come with me is sick. Feel better girl! I promise for the sake of myself (and the blog) that I'll make every effort to get out tonight despite the snow and my own declining health.
Yesterday afternoon around 4:30 I got a phone call from Youngun. This time I do remember most of our conversation and he seems to be a very nice guy. He gave me his background - he's an actor (his claim to fame thus far is as an extra on the soap "As The World Turns" ), has a degree in International Marketing (maybe he can understand me when I start geeking out about work stuff?) and he is indeed 25 years old. I'm trying my hardest to be good this time around and not to repeat any of my bad dating habits. We'll get into some of them in later blogs I'm sure. We haven't made any plans yet, but I'll give him a call later this week to try to set something up for this weekend or next week. I sort of need my weekend to myself to decompress I realize now, because today it's Tuesday and I'm already feeling like my energy is waning. I'll have to watch that hanging around with kids like Youngun I suppose. :o)
Blacksingles.com also seems promising. I have been corresponding with a few guys on the site and the one pet peeve I have so far is all of the short men who ping me. It's as if I'm cat nip for men 5'8 and under. What's the deal with that? I guess they love the challenge of dating a tall woman, however I don't enjoy the challenge of leaning down to kiss my short man. I did it in high school and college and decided that this is one of my non-negotiables. The guy that's my mate will need to be taller than me. One of the things that makes online dating a challenge for me is the fact that a lot of daters have many misspellings and text lingo (e.g. u kno) on their profiles. It makes it harder for more me to decipher and in the end I want someone with a good handle on the English language. I'm trying to let go of my preconceived notions, but a girl has to have some standards. If anything develops with one of these guys I'll keep you posted.
Tonight I have a couple of networking events that I was considering hitting up. If anyone is interested in coming with as my wing woman or wingman please hit me up. One is a NAMIC panel discussion on "Multicultural Marketing" No judgements here please! I'm a geek and I'm hoping my geek guy will be there too. There is also a networking event from VMIX and Buzz, sounds like a nice time and maybe there will be some interesting people out despite the weather.
Tomorrow I hope that I'll have an update for you on my activities tonight. This all depends on whether I can muster up enough energy to make it out tonight. If this morning is any indication I might be passed out by the time the clock hits 5 PM. Have a great day today.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Hope you had a great weekend - I certainly had a ball. Although I didn't have any dates this weekend it certainly wasn't because I didn't put myself out there. I went out every single day this weekend, which for me is a BIG DEAL. I never go out every single day of the weekend normally, but this is a New Year and I'm working to maintain my new improved positive attitude. I also accomplished the amazing task of signing up and PAYING (yes I said it PAYING)for a new dating service. I'll talk more about on online dating services later.
Friday night I jump started my weekend by hanging out with JF at Caroline's for the Michael Ian Black (MIB) comedy show. MIB was funny and the host that night was particularly funny, even though some of the opening comics were disappointingly bad. It was my first time visiting Caroline's. I have to say that if you want to meet new people, Caroline's probably is not the best environment for cruising for dates, unless you hang out at the bar the whole time.
Bowling at Leisure Time in Port Authority was on the agenda for Saturday to celebrate my friend MK's birthday. Although I am not the best bowler in the world I had a great time and managed to hit a few pins before the end of the evening. I saw a few attractive men here, but it was hard to try chatting them up because they were at lanes way down at the other end of the alley. Bowling is only good for dating if you're doing it as a fun dating activity. It's hard to cruise for people at the bowling alley unless you hang out at the bar. We went out for drinks at a local bar afterwards (Bullmoose Lounge) where it was pretty quiet because we were there at 6:30 PM; probably a little early to have much of a social scene going on. I went home after our drinks for a quiet evening relaxing and watching a little tv.
Sunday was a busy day and I started my day by going out to brunch at Cowgirl for my newly engaged friend A's birthday. It was fun and I got to hang out with a few folks that I hadn't seen for a while - and for me always a good time for me. In conversation I mentioned my plan to go to Comic Con NYC this weekend and I think I might have someone who is interested in coming with me so that I don't have to brave it all by myself. I'll write more about Comic Con NYC later this week. After brunch with the lovely ladies at A's party I met up with one of my best friends GG; she's visiting from Houston and is pregnant with twins.
After hanging with GG I went home and one of my friends OJ gave me a call. He was reading the "Vows" section in the NY Times and saw an article about a couple that married after a whirlwind courtship. He said that the woman in the article reminded me of him and after reading it I can wholeheartedly say that we probably have many things in common (although I have never used my oven as storage space). Here's a link in case you missed it: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/01/fashion/weddings/01VOWS.html?_r=1
So after reading about the couple I was re-inspired to jump on my online dating efforts and signed up for a dating website that seemed interesting to me http://www.blacksingles.com/. I'm a paying member (for at least a month) and this is HUGE for me. I have always said that I don't believe in online dating, but after hearing about the story of the couple in the article I'm willing to give it a shot. I'm also planning to pay for my profile on Yahoo Personals and maybe one other to broaden my horizons. I've had a few emails back and forth on Black Singles and a couple of bites on Yahoo.
I have a good feeling about this week folks. It's already started off the right way for me and I hope the trend continues. Thanks again for all the notes, IM's and phone calls about the blog. Keep them coming I love hearing from you. If you like what you're reading here become a follower of my blog if you haven't already. Even those of you who get this e-mail passed along by our mutual friends.