Tuesday, February 10, 2009

I hate texting

Hello Faithful Readers:

Hope that you're all enjoying this fine Tuesday morning. I have to say that you guys are some of the most supportive people I've ever met. Thanks for all of the advice and support you have given me along the way and here's where I encourage you all to keep it coming, because I LOVE hearing from you.

Last night I went out with one of my co-workers, Ms. Vega, to a lovely networking event for a group called Supernodes at a very sexy wine bar called CLO in the Time Warner Center. It was a futuristic experience and eventually I'd like to go back under less crowded circumstances. I felt like I was at my high school reunion because I saw a bunch of my old co-workers from IDJ and it was great seeing that everyone is doing so well now.

One of the people I met, a great guy named T, and I ended up getting into a discussion about women and their relationships with men. I'm not sure how we even got on the subject so quickly, but he said that women need to tell men what it is they want, simply because men aren't mind-readers and all women are different. One thing he said really resonated with me "Women always have it easier because with men if you get the general [owners] manual for a man, you basically have an understanding of how to deal with most men. With women each one requires a different 300 page [owners] manual. I'd never really thought of myself or any of my female friends in these terms and it made me realize that perhaps he's on to something. I know that I'm definitely like any of my friends when it comes to dating and relationships.

T also brought up something last night that I had been complaining about for a while now. He said that texting has made dating life much easier for men. Men can send a mass text messages to all of their girls and it makes us ladies feel our guy is actually thinking about us. Texting also offers the guys the opportunity to get assistance from their boys on what to say in the text. Plus texting allows us all to take our time in responding versus a phone or in person conversation.

His comments caused me to think about my own current situation. Last Friday the day after our first coffee date Mystervee texted me to say he enjoyed the meeting. Then he continued to hold a full text conversation until after a few exchanges it ended. I complained to my friend Digi Jay and he gave me a piece of advice that blew my mind. Quite simply he said to text MV with the following message: CALL ME. This advice was mind boggling for me, because as outspoken as I normally am, I'd never even considered saying something about my issues with texting. Now I probably should explain that my biggest issue with texting is more about having a full on conversation via text. I don't mind if you use it to pass along quick information or confirm a meeting time or something along those lines, but if your text requires a several text message back and forth exchange; personally I'd prefer it if you just picked up the phone to call me. So I suffered through lots of texting during the weekend and finally when we were talking [on the phone] last night I finally told him that I hated texting and preferred to have conversations on the phone if we couldn't see each other.

You know what? I actually felt much better after I got that off my chest. Now we'll see what happens with MV after my comment, I'm hoping he was listening and not just hearing what I said. I have a feeling that we'll be good friends at the end of our experience if nothing else, but I won't be nearly as afraid to say what I mean with any of the guys I date. Now I just have to break all of my new friends of their texting habits. Yep the Youngun is also a big text abuser!


Georgia Peach


Anonymous said...

really? depending on the situation, i enjoy text convos. especialy during arguments because i can really say what i mean without being "in the moment" and potentially saying something mean just because i was angry. it gives me time to think.

however, when i am getting to know you, CALL ME. no text conversations!! :-)

Peggy said...

I hate texting, it's so informal and with no expression of emotions. I love to hear a person's voice when they're sharing something with me. Like you said if it's to give me a quick info or just to say "call me" I'm good with that, but I'm not going to have a whole drawn out convo via text, especially with a man.
My Hunny and I texted a lot of short, sweet, straight to the point text early on, but there was nothing I loved more than those 5 hours, late night conversations about everything and nothing...

It's great that you're upfront and honest about how your feel about the whole texting thing. I believe a man who's genuinely interested in you would rather talk verbally than through texting after a while anyways, you know?

Brooke said...

I don't mind texting depending on who it is. And if I'm working or watching tv, I can text without being interrupted. But you're right, some folks are crazy with it. If I have to scroll down or open multiple continuing messages, then yeah...just pick up the phone. Luckily most guys I speak to have no problem calling me, but the ones who are serial texters become Black History real fast.

Georgia Peach said...

It's interesting to hear all of your perspectives on this. Peggy I think we're more alike than we even realize. It's just hard for me to get into it if it's not just a quick exchange no matter who it is. EJ I think you like it so that you can have make-up sex. LOL...

MILF said...

Um.. yeah I hate texting or FB or any of the "newer" ways that folk have conceived to communicate with a person. I understand the necessity (if it could be applied to that) of those apparatus' (apparati?- I digress) as a social networking tool but besides the cold, impersonal nature of it- what the hell? Are we 13!!! My son texts his girlfriend cause his idea of a phone conversation consists of sharing cheat notes on the latest Xbox game. He has no smoothness, no swagger and it clearly comes across when he's on the phone with another 13 year old. If your bee-hind is 30+ and your still think that texting a potential mate is cool or romantic even- see above note and understand that the closest you would ever get to me would be the nocturnal emmissions that you would have about me. period. Real women need real intimacy and real communication. and that does NOT include the world of OMG! WTF ur so c8zy!Just my two cents:)