Choosing the right one (for me)

Hello my faithful readers:

I haven't written very much on this blog lately because I have a new blog I'm writing about my time in Belgium called "A Broad in Belgium." Please check it out when you have a chance; especially if you haven't already. Today I had an epiphany and felt compelled to blog about my history with houseplants. More specifically -- all about every attempt to keep a houseplant, within the past few years of my life, has resulted in their death within 1 week of my purchase or receiving them.

I remember back when college never wanting to keep a plant in my dorm room because I knew that I would kill it. Even then I knew that I just don't have the green thumb that my Mom seems to effortlessly have. I used to help her with watering her plants as one of my chores and I never killed any of them, but on the flip side I've killed many of my own plants as a teenager.

It finally hit me today that my relationships with houseplants has a strong correlation with my romantic relationships (or lack of them). I never really thought about the correlation until today to be totally honest. Today as I looked at the dead plant I bought a couple of weeks ago at Ikea , I realized it's not completely about my ability to nurture the plants that is causing them to die so quickly. The root of the issue starts with my selection process. In the past as with my houseplants I've chosen plants (mates) that weren't right for me and without doing any research beyond the fact that I thought they looked good to me.

After taking a little more time to get to know about the plant before I buy it, I realize that I shouldn't be forcing it into my environment without making a few adjustments of my own. I need to nurture them yes, but I also need to make sure that I'm ready to have a plant in my life. Think about this-- if you bring a plant into your home and you don't have the right lighting conditions or temperature for it, then it might not be the right plant for you or your lifestyle. Combine that with the other elements like not having the time to properly water the plant, talk to it or give it enough attention, then maybe it's not the right time to bring a plant into your (my) life. It's never pleasant realizing that you're just not made for each other, but if you aren't then it won't last and one of you could die. If you believe in survival of the fittest then I'm the strongest party in all of my relationships with plants. As a result they end up suffering and dying quick deaths because of my mistakes.

As far as my dating life here in Belgium that's slow going, but I did get an offer from a nice man from Congo (Africa) who is studying law here at K.U. Leuven (the main University here in town). I took his phone number without the intention of ever calling him again (he was just too short and smelly for me), but running into him again a couple of weeks later made me realize the city where I'm attending college in is way too small to hope not to run into them ever again. The second time we saw each other he came up to me and said "I thought you said you were going to call me" and I made a lame excuse about being too busy. In truth I was too busy, but I also wasn't very interested in him and now being in a new environment I realize now that I should stop my bad habit of taking phone numbers which I'll never use. It's something I did in NYC just to get people off my back so that I didn't appear rude. I did it a lot (ok way too much) and most of the time I never used any of the numbers, especially if I didn't give them my number.

There are lots of very young people here in Leuven and many of my classmates are married or already in relationships. I am starting to think about dating a little more now that I'm getting settled in and while I still have time to try. Right now things are busy with school, but this will be the easiest part of the year for us in general. In the new year things are going to get pretty intense and hectic with our workload. I plan to enjoy my time here to the best of my abilities.

Thanks for reading and I do hope you'll check out my other blog page. Currently I am updating that one once a week. I'll also be blogging for the Financial Times MBA Blog about my experiences as a Vlerick Leuven student starting in late October. I'm very excited about this year and so far I'm having a great time here in Belgium. Have a great week.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach.

Isn't it ironic...

Hello my faithful readers:

It's been waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long since I've written here. I have to say as far as my dating life is concerned I simply have ignored it completely. Lately all I can think about is my huge running to-do list which includes my visa application (lengthy process folks!), wrapping up my final big project at work (Bonnaroo happening all next week) and packing/selling the 9 years of accumulated life here in NYC (did I mention I'm a bit of a pack rat?!?!). I type this all as I'm thinking about my ever growing list of the dozen other things I need to accomplish in the next day or two.

What has been going on for me in the dating world? Well... most recently I had been e-mailing with Bachelor #1 and I'd even gotten to the point where we'd exchanged numbers. He called me Memorial Weekend and I never called him back. I know totally rude of me right? I hated doing that, but I realized I just don't have the energy, nor the time to really truly focus on getting a new friendship started. I barely have time lately to keep up with the few friends I already have! Many of you haven't seen me in several months, simply because I'm running around crossing things off my to-do list.

That very next week, all within a couple of days of each other I received e-mails from 3 different men whom I'd dated or corresponded with at some point in the past couple of years (Mr. Ex was one of them) and the emails made me wonder - why now? I thought I'd closed the door on all of those friendships and seeing those e-mails for me was like having a big fancy picnic (MY BIG FANCY PICNIC) ruined by ants showing up and walking all over my food. My reactions to the notes ranged from"who is this?" to "slightly guilty because the tone of his e-mail seemed so delusional (to me)."

Now none of these men had any idea that they would all contact me within days of each other, but in situations like this one I am always reminded of the Alanis Morrisette song "Ironic." Hearing from a few old flames in the span of a week (ok I might be exaggerating by labeling them old flames) almost never happens (for me). Let's be real. Who am I kidding here? I'm not hearing from much of anyone lately. Personally I found getting all of these notes just as I was starting to mentally get "closure" on "life in NYC" a little unsettling. I have to admit that hearing from them all put me in a little bit of a funk for a few days (ok it was really a full week and a half), because I was reminded of all of my dating disappointments. I (always) need to believe that there has to be some higher purpose, but perhaps the purpose is just to toughen me up for the next leg of my journey. OR it could be that I'm reading too much into this and I just need to remained focused on the goal (getting ready for school in the fall).

I'm still determining the fate of my blog, because as much as I love sharing my dating journey with you all; I'm embarking on a different journey now and this means less activity on this blog (which has been dedicated to chronicling my dating adventures). Things are busy for me at work (at least until June 15th when I return from Bonnaroo) and I have less time to focus on coming up with interesting topics related to my dating life. You might not hear from me for a while, but I promise that I'll try to keep you posted on any possible dating adventures I have while abroad. Finding love is still a (big) priority for me, but for the duration of my MBA program (1 year) it won't be my primary focus.

Thanks for all of the love and support over the past couple of months. I really appreciate all of the advice, encouragement and love you guys have shown. I plan on enjoying my last month couple of months here in NYC. For those of you who don't live here there is NOTHING like NYC in the spring/summer. I love it! I hope that you have a wonderful summer too!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Cutting off your friends...

Hello my faithful readers:

I had hoped to write something in the blog before today, but things are busier now for me at work so you'll probably see me a little less frequently because once work gets busy, my social and dating life tend to suffer. That means there is MUCH less for me to write about here in my dating blog. Plus my mind is focused on making my move to Belgium and I feel too guilty to waste another person's time when I know I'll be moving away in the next three months.

In my blog last week I mentioned that Mr. Ex and I decided that it was best that we remain friends instead of trying to continue to date each other. I was ok with this decision and even felt relieved by it all, but was quite surprised to get a phone call from him on Thursday evening that puzzled me. First of all he seemed to think that I'd agreed to have sex with him (or do the "nice thing" as he referred to it on the call) after I returned from my trip to Georgia with my family. I found this whole thing humorous and told him I was sorry that he'd misinterpreted something I'd said, because this was definitely NOT the truth. Remember my little 90 day rule? Well if I were still counting we'd still be on just day 41 right now.

Mr. Ex wanted to get into what made things go off track during our last date, but kept saying "No I'll ask you about it when you get back from Georgia." That whole tactic frustrated me and I told him he could ask me what he wanted to ask while he had me on the phone. I told him that I was disappointed by his lack of decision making skills on the date and gave him a few of the examples I blogged about the other day. He said "well I'm not really that way all the time, I just use that as a way of getting to know a person." I told him that although that might be his tactic I've never seen him make a decision in all of our dates (4 to be exact) and it wasn't fair to me because I didn't get the chance to see him make a decision. I really think his excuse is BS, personally because I think the whole "Whatever you like method of decision making" is LAZY. After that he had to get off the phone. He said he'd try to call me back, but I was non-committal because I told him I needed to get to bed early and still had some packing to do for my trip early the next morning. Before we ended the call he kept saying that he felt things were fine with us and that we would get back to normal (HA). I'll admit this was the part that creeped me out the most because I felt like he hadn't listened to a thing I'd just said.

Mr. Ex called me back a couple of times that night. He left a couple of messages for me (STALKER), then that Friday night he called and left a message for me saying that he saw a few phone numbers pop up with my area code that he thought might have been me. Needless to say it wasn't me and I really don't think I need to have another conversation with him anymore. I know that many of you are thinking that I'm a GIANT A$$HOLE, but I think it's best that I don't lead him on anymore. I feel like his perception of what was going on was completely different from mine. I was trying to remain nice throughout this all, but sometimes nice isn't what the situation needs and it's best not to maintain contact. Sometimes it just isn't in the cards to remain friends - especially when you can't agree on the boundaries of your friendship.

I strongly suspect that the only reason Mr. Ex had his change of heart is because he felt he invested too much time/money into our situation to not get the payoff (sex with me). There might be other reasons, but I truly believe that's the main reason for his change of heart. Thanks for reading and I hope that I'll have some new stories for you soon.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

What's the difference?

Hello my faithful readers:


First off all HAPPY FRIDAY to you! I'm so glad that it's the end of this week of late nights in the office; plus I seem to be developing some sort of cold/sinus issue that's getting worse. Now I'm working on building up my energy for all of my weekend plans. Tonight I'd rather go home, put my PJ's on and sleep the whole weekend through. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for my social life) I have plans both tonight and tomorrow. Tonight's plans include heading over to Hoboken, NJ to celebrate one of my former co-workers birthday's at the new W Hotel. Tomorrow I have a full day of hanging out with Mr. Ex (our plans are still TBD, but I think we're going to do the NYC tourist experience).

Today I wanted to talk about some of my own prejudices. I received correspondence from two different men who happened to fall into the same age category (on different dating websites). I responded to both of them in a nice way, but I'd actually consider going out on a date with only one of them, even though they both seem to be pretty similar on the surface (both writers).

Bachelor #1 (50 years old lives in Brooklyn):

I really don't think it's a great idea to be describing mysef, but then it would be tough for you to get an idea of what kind of person I am, wouldn't it?So I will say that I am fun, funny, sweet, open, intense, smart, curious, bookish but outgoing, adventurous, musical, literate, patient, well travelled, with a ton of life experience (ok, so sometimes I just need to learn things the hard way). I've lived in some interesting parts of the world, and I try to keep an open mind about different ways of living. I appreciate people who are open-minded, nonjudgemental, curious, compassionate, funny, and I hope I am most of those things. On my great days, I am.I do not get angry, and I believe it's really, really important to discuss openly what's on our minds and in our hearts.I'm curious about people and how they live and what they think. I've lived in a few countries and have been humbled by the experience. I love exploring new places, meeting new people, and just being turned on by life.I am sexy, affectionate, generous, and open minded, but I can be a pain in the butt sometimes (i hope in a nice way).i am very much into music, writing, books, the outdoors, food, cooking, and am adventurous and always looking to explore: new music, writers, places, meeting new people...you name it.I am amicably divorced and a father of 2 amazing daughers who live in another state with their mother, but I am a very active father.I am looking for someone who can appreciate my good qualities and hopefully be patient with my lesser ones. Someone who is independent, bright, open, curious, and ready for anything (and for me).

Bachelor #2 (51 years old lives in NJ)

I'm a writer, author, poet, playwright, drummer, story teller, motivational speaker and an international traveler. I teach Afrikan Studies, specializing in ancient Kemet (Egypt). I do ancient Kemet meditation, and i am a Grand Master in Afrakan Martial Arts.
I would like to meet someone who is Afrikan centered or loves Afrika and Afrikan people, educated, in shape, concerned about health, and loves the outdoors. Also opened minded, willing to think outside the box. Please have a photo if you want a response!

Now I have to admit that my responses were mostly based on the pictures both of the men had up on their profiles. I simply found one to be a little more attractive than the other guy. I must disclose that one guy was white and the other black.

Initially, I wasn't attracted to Bachelor #2 at all based on his picture. I have to wonder why I could consider giving the first guy a chance, but not Bachelor #2, simply because I thought he was too old for me. Seriously my reason for immediately dismissing Bachelor #2, the fact that he was 51. This now seems pretty irrational to me and I realize I have some HUGE prejudices. If I'm honest with myself I'll admit that the fact that his picture has him in full Afrikan garb, (dread)locks and with all the language about wanting to meet someone who is Afrikan centered freaked me out a little. Yes, I'm a woman of color (African American descent), but I wouldn't consider myself to be especially militant. Truth be told, Bachelor #2 seems like that type of guy that I might see hanging out on the streets up in Harlem on Brooklyn selling incense. Nothing wrong with that type of man, just not someone I'd normally associate with on any level (friendship or otherwise).

Bachelor #1 is a divorcee with two kids. Dating someone with kids is usually someone I wouldn't consider seeing, but the older I get the harder I realize it's possible to stick to that rule. I'll admit the thing that appealed to me most about Bachelor #1 was the fact that he seems well traveled, hey he's even lived in several foreign countries. This is a guy I could see myself be-friending if I were out having drinks and met him that way.

I haven't even gotten into the issue of age. I have been questioning whether it's really appropriate for me to consider dating someone in their 50's. When I was younger (22) I dated someone who was much older (45) , but now I wonder what is really appropriate? I know that I'm a relatively mature 30, but getting into the territory of dating someone in their 50's makes me nervous. To put this into context my mother is 51 years old. So if I open the door to dating someone who is in their 50's, for me it would be just like dating one of my parents.

I have to admit that I puzzle even myself sometimes with my contradictory, irrational thought processes about my issues. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this subject. What's appropriate? Do you have any prejudices (or as I like to call them preferences) that you won't ever change? How often do you find yourself judging a book by its cover? I sure have a lot to think about, but this is all helpful for my journey (I hope).

Thanks again for taking the time to read the blog today and I hope that you'll become one of my followers or leave comment if you like what you're reading here. If you're in the northeast make sure you head outside this weekend to enjoy some of the 80 degree weather we're supposed to have tomorrow and Sunday. Have a great weekend!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

What are we?

Hello my faithful readers:

Wow, this has been a whirlwind couple of weeks for me. I know that I have been a quite scarce around the blogosphere and I blame it wholeheartedly on my job. I have some good news from my trip to Belgium last week. I was officially accepted into the MBA program at Vlerick Leuven Gent Management School (YAY). After taking last week off from work, I've been busy the past couple of days just getting caught up with all of the projects we have going on now. I have lots of planning and thinking to do in the meantime to get prepared for my big move and life change.

All of the exciting developments in my life mean that I haven't focused on dating nearly as much as I did a few weeks ago. I have been using some of this time to get to know Mr. Ex a whole lot better and we are becoming friends. I believe we mutually like and respect each other quite a bit. He would like things to move along a whole lot faster than I'm allowing them to happen and he has affectionately nicknamed me The Boss which I don't mind now, the name is growing on me.

Mr. Ex asked me a tough question last night on the phone. "What do you say about us if people ask you? What do you tell your friends and family?" I was hoping to avoid this question (forever) because I have soooo many balls in the air right now (work is busy and I am moving to Europe in a few months). He also has no idea that I have a dating blog and that I've written about him here quite a few times. Since the last time I updated you all we've had quite a few in depth conversations. I finally got him to stop talking about his exes and we see eye to eye on most of the big issues in life. So my answer was "I tell people we're dating." He has hinted around before about getting into a relationship together, but I fiercely remind him that I am moving away and that I DON'T DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS. I've offered up many opportunities for us to end things, yet he keeps saying "You never know what will happen, let's just go with it."

I am a planner by nature. I don't like a lot of surprises in my life. Although I don't consider myself to be rigid, I am a bit of a control freak. My life has a plan and I tick my goals off on a regular basis. I need to guide things at least a little bit. So we'll see how things develop with my friendship. I know many of you like me feel like Mr. Ex is a risky proposition (for me) given the fact that he (seems) to be finding his way. What can I can say about him? He is working (he has a couple of part-time gigs) and I've found him to be a genuine person. I think he's helped me to grow as a person, but part of me has to wonder if his lack of career is a sign of bigger issues that he's kept hidden thus far. I'm watching him like a hawk; for now all I can do is to enjoy his company and the time we spend together.

Thanks for reading and I appreciate all of the support from you. If you like what you're reading or you have something to say don't feel shy, chime in or better yet become one of my followers! Have a wonderful evening.

Mwuah,



Georgia Peach

Scattered

Hello my faithful readers:

Today is warm at a balmy 60 degrees here in NYC, especially given that we had snow yesterday. I'm very excited because I have two more days here at work and then I'm on my way to Brussels this weekend! It's a big week for me because I have a full day of testing and an interview for one of the MBA programs that I'm interested in next Wednesday. This week has been busy for me and I've been a little scattered, but today is surprisingly quiet.

When I woke up this morning, my first thoughts were about what I should write about today. After some thought, I decided that I should just write about my current state of mind. Quite simply it's SCATTERED. The scatter is currently interfering with my interest in dating. For me, being scattered is the biggest killer of my mojo. I tend to lose interest in making the effort when I get caught up in focusing on the (other) things in my life that are vying for my attention (work, family, health, education). Scatter is something that I knew was an issue for me before I even began writing this blog. I realize now that the scatter is creeping back in and rearing it's ugly head.

The best way to describe it is a feeling of what I imagine ADHD feels like. I especially notice it even more in my conversations with Mr. Ex in the past few weeks (even prior to the talk we had on Monday). This leads to some of the bad behavior on my part that I've hinted at in some of my previous blogs. I ignore his calls just because I just don't feel like talking. I have successfully avoided committing to a date this week prior to my leaving for vacation although if I wanted to I could do it. And most importantly of all, I barely think of him unless I see it's him calling me on the phone. This is a bad sign.

I realize that my scattered state of mind is not the only reason for my lack of interest in Mr. Ex, (maybe I'm realizing I'm just not that into him), but it certainly doesn't help the issue. The scattered behavior is a pattern in my life that I'd like to break, but I'm still figuring out the best remedy for it. Am I the only one out there that has this problem?


Yesterday I had a chance meeting (I was eating alone and she asked if she could share my table) during lunch at Cosi with a lovely woman who has an e-commerce handbag business. Mrs. Handbags and I started talking and I discovered that she'd worked for many years in media . As a result of her career in sales, she spent MANY years living out of a suitcase. She said that although she married when she was 27, it was very tough because her lifestyle was so different at the time. When she was finally ready to settle down and have kids she did it and having a child changed her life completely. She was happy that she did it later in life because she felt that she has lived a full life and it made her more ready to make the sacrifices for her new situation as mother and wife. Her story reminded me that for a relationship to work both parties involved have to make room in their lives for it. Up until this year I really had not made room for it, nor could I with all of the traveling (for work), checking out the best clubs and restaurants and socializing I was doing.

In the end it just comes down to balance. I realize that too much of one thing is NOT good for me. It's something that I struggle with each day and I hope that one day I'll find the perfect balance for me. Until then I'll try my best not to be so SCATTERED. Thanks for taking the time out to read my blog today. If you're in NYC I hope that you'll make sure to get out and enjoy a little bit of the sunshine we have today. My countdown to vacation has begun. In case I don't get to blog tomorrow (very likely) have a fantastic week while I'm away.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Wasted time

Hello my faithful readers:

I hope that you're surviving the ups and downs we're having with the weather. Yesterday here in NYC it was pouring rain; today the temperature has dropped back down into the 40's (with the wind chill it feels like the 30's), yet all I can think about right now is the future. It's funny because the more I mature, the more I realize that my priorities are shifting. The goals of becoming a member of some board or the SVP of This and That no longer matter nearly as much as they did just a couple of years ago. Life is polishing some of the rough edges on me. Now more than ever I just want a bright and happy future for myself and my loved ones.

Yesterday I had a tough conversation with Mr. Ex, which resulted in him saying "Well I guess it's a waste of time for us to go out again." FINALLY I had the guts to say what's been on my mind for a few weeks now.

I had no intention of bringing it up yesterday, but he mentioned to me again of his desire to write a book. I told him that he should get started on this goal right now by devoting at least one hour of his day to writing. If you don't know this about me, I'm a strong believer in setting a goal and then working towards that goal. So I asked him flat out how he felt about his goals and whether or not he's good at meeting his goals. Probably not the most direct way to ask the question I wanted the answer to, but I wanted to hear his response. He said that he's met some of his goals and that some he definitely hasn't met yet, but overall he feels ok with where he is in life to date. I told him honestly that the reason I ask him so many questions about his goals is because I find him to be a bit of an enigma to me. He talks a good game and says that he wants to settle down, yet if you look at his accomplishments to date on paper, it doesn't add up to very much.

One thing that has come up in previous conversations with Mr. Ex is his belief that the women he has dated in the past ALL had issues with him not having his college degree. I was honest with him and said that his having the degree is not the problem for me. The biggest issue for me is the fact that he is 36 years old, doesn't seem to have any career goals and seems to be in a holding pattern of some sort. I asked him to think about the issue from my perspective. How would he feel if he was the one who had it going on all levels (career, financials, physical and spiritual) and he was dating someone who seemed to be floundering (similar to his current situation)? His response this response to me was "Behind every man is a good woman." I agree that this statement is true, but asked him if he felt he should have his situation a little more stable before getting into a serious relationship. It was at this moment that the battery in his phone started to die and he told me he'd call me back.

When Mr. Ex called me back later that evening, he told me that he understood where I was coming from. Apparently he had been thinking about this too (although I think for him he really thought it was about whether he has a degree or not) and I had to ask him again if he felt he was ready to get into a serious relationship with anyone. He said that he is indeed ready and declared that things will fall into place for him. That he has the desire and that he's had a few setbacks in life, but he truly believes that he will be ok. He then shared that before he moved to NJ he had worked on a business plan for a couple of businesses (an Angolan restaurant and an import/export business). He said that he had a business plan that he worked on a few years ago, but that he's had a few setbacks over the years and has not worked on launching either in some time.

I got the sense that life for him got off track for Mr. Ex in 2003. That's the year he fixated on and that seems to be the last time he felt like he was doing well in regards to his work and financial life. He gave me a little of the back story about the situation, which involved living with a woman, a break-up and a car (always a recipe for disaster in my book). Needless to say he said for the first time in all of our talks that if things don't work out for him in NJ in a year he will probably move home. This is someone who just a week and a half ago on our last date said he never wants to move back home. Honestly, I think it is as a result of pressure from his family to move home because they see the same thing I see someone who is in his mid-30's floundering.

I am happy that I got this off my chest because I had been holding back because quite simply I wasn't sure how to tactfully bring it up. I don't think that this will always go down so smoothly, but in this instance it was a conversation that I learned more about myself than anything. Mr. Ex said that he still likes me and is interested in having another date with me (he actually wanted to go out tonight), but I have plans with some of my girls from work that I can't cancel. I'm still considering things, but to be honest I feel more comfortable with watching Mr. Ex and his situation to see how it develops. I hope that his claim that he will make it happen is true (for his sake).

Thanks again for reading my blog. I love hearing from you guys and this whole process is helping me to grow up (even more). Hope that you enjoy the rest of this week no matter what it brings your way. I'm realizing that being flexible is just as important as following the plan.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Having "The Talk"

Hello my faithful readers:

Happy Monday to you all! This weekend went by way too quickly for me. I always come back to work every Monday thinking I could use one more day to just relax. Most of my time this weekend was divided between cleaning, grocery shopping and studying with a big emphasis on studying. I had a date on Friday night with Mr. Ex, which I'll recap in tomorrow's blog.

I recently read Steve Harvey's book, "Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man," as most of you know. While I don't necessarily take everything Steve says in the book to heart, I agree with most of the advice he gives. One of the things Steve recommends is waiting at least 90 days before having sex with someone. Steve's book isn't the first place I've heard this advice. In the past I haven't always waited like I know I should, but it is now my current policy. All of you may not agree with this policy because it might work for you and because if I'm honest with myself, sometimes it's freakin HARD to wait. My hormones are constantly telling me "Girl you better do something about this drought situation RIGHT NOW!" (I hear crickets chirping right now so I must be the ONLY one with raging hormones).

Cut to last Thursday night during one of my phone conversations with Mr. Ex. Generally he asks intelligent, thought provoking questions and up to this point we'd been getting closer and closer to really discussing the 'sex issue' for a while. Finally he breaks out with a question that shook me a little "Have you ever been pregnant before?" I answered honestly with no and also added that I have no desire to get pregnant at this point in my life. We talked a little bit more and then I broke the news to him that I'm not planning to sleep with him for at least 90 days. His reaction to my bombshell was very eye-opening and surprising for me because up until this point he'd been very gentlemanly.

He basically said he didn't think waiting 90 days was possible and that he'd never heard of such a thing from a woman before. I just laughed and said that it was one of my requirements and that he could take it or leave it. Then he proceeded to say that he didn't know that he could wait for me and that I would have a hard time finding someone willing to wait 90 days. Then he tried to convince me that things have to happen naturally and you can't put deadlines on things. The kicker of the whole conversation for me was the fact that he said he felt like I should have put this bit of information up on my profile. That statement alone was HYSTERICAL to me (really put this on my dating profile). He also told me he felt that you run out of things to do on dates if you don't sleep with each other at some point within the 90 day window. I just laughed at all of his arguments for not waiting for 90 days, but inside I was thanking my lucky stars that this topic came up and I was hearing his real unedited reaction to the issue. My CPS was (and is still) in full effect now since our conversation (thanks Digi Jay for the terminology).

We had a few more back and forth exchanges and then decided to continue with our date plans for Friday night. In hindsight I have no idea why I agreed to go out with him again; after our conversation I figured it would be a waste of both of our time. I truly believe at this point he was planning to try to convince me of the error of my ways on Friday. In Mr. Ex's defense he said that having sex with me wasn't the only reason he was interested in me. Our conversation gave me lots to think about and made me realize that there is wisdom in waiting 90 days, because you can truly do more fact finding about the other person; like a trial period to figure out whether it's worth going further. I know that having a 90 day waiting period isn't the right choice for everyone, but for me at this stage in my life (and my emotional growth), it's the right choice for me.

I hope you have a great week - so far this one seems to be off to a good start for me. I'm feeling good and I believe we're in for some beautiful weather this week. Tomorrow I'll blog about our date on Friday after our Thursday night 'talk.'

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Distractions

Hello my faithful readers:

I can't believe how quickly the month of March has gone. It's almost April - can you believe it?!? Truly I hope that April will be a month of renewal and opportunity for everyone; because I simply don't want to hear anymore bad news. While I know that many of you are going through your own personal struggles I really hope that you can hang on just a little while longer. Recently I re-connected at a networking event with someone I worked with a few years ago. We had a meeting a week later where I gave her a few names and phone numbers of people I thought she should meet with for business opportunities and networking purposes. Yesterday she called just to say "thank you" and that gave me the boost I needed to make it through the rest of my day yesterday. It's little things like this that help to keep me hopeful that things will indeed get better.

Yesterday was full of surprise phone calls and text messages; two blasts from the (recent) past, Mystervee and Youngun both called/texted me yesterday. Although Youngun has been less frequent with his contact, he has shown more interest in texting me (for a job) than Mystervee. Youngun has now taken to texting me every week and a half or so and sometimes I respond, sometimes I don't. Yesterday I decided to entertain his texts and our text conversation ended with his last text to me "It's ok...still tryin to make it. I'm also looking for a better job now too." This is the second time he's mentioned this in a text conversation with me and I suppose I should just tell him that if he's looking for a job he should just e-mail me with his resume or even give me a call to discuss what he's looking for...I will blame his ignorance on the right way to network for a job on his youth and keep it moving.

Mystervee's call interrupted my response to Youngun's final text; Almost immediately after not picking up his call, I got a text with his phone number in it (no voicemail message). I thought about calling him back, but I realized that there really isn't any reason for me to speak to him. I know what he's interested in and although some of you may disagree with me, I felt his lack of respect for me the first time around was enough for me. Ignoring that call and not calling him back was probably one of the HARDEST things I've done in a long time. Why? Because like most women I wanted to get some sort of closure on our situation and find out why he treated me like a $5 hooker. Although I'm curious about WHY he called me, I'm not curious enough to be distracted from finding the right man for me. I know that talking to him would be a waste of my time and if I'm true to what I have set out to do, I need to stay focused on my goal.

I think it's funny that people come out of the woodwork just when you thought you'd put them out of your mind. Hopefully with a little focus, common sense and self preservation, I'll stop repeating some of the mistakes I've made in past relationships. I believe these distractions pop up to test whether or not you're ready for the real thing. I hope that I passed this particular "distraction test" so that I can move on to the right situation for me.

Thanks for always giving me good feedback and I hope that you enjoy what you're reading here. I love hearing from you and I hope that you'll become a follower or comment (I don't bite, even if we have differing opinions). Enjoy your Thursday - it's almost the weekend! YEAHHHHH!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Making the first move

Hello my faithful readers:

I can't believe Wednesday is already here! This week seems to be moving a lot more quickly than last week did. Lately I've gone out a lot more and although my outings aren't always dates, I see them all as opportunities to meet someone new. On Monday night, I saw a show @ Carnegie Hall --"Ask Your Mama" based on a poem by Langston Hughes. I had an amazing time that night with my girls EBrown, The Roodster and EJ (Ms. Jackson if you're nasty)! Jessye Norman's voice is AMAZING and the whole night gave me chills (the good kind of course). Last night I went out to have dinner with one of my good friends, The Mama, who recently moved back to NYC from the ATL.

I spend a lot of time talking about relationships with my friends, most especially those of you whom I know personally. One of the topics that comes up frequently relates specifically to me and my non-date nights out. The Roodster and I have discussed this topic at length - Are women who approach the man first desperate sluts? She related the following story to me this past weekend. On the night that we were out after the 1st Saturday party at the Brooklyn Museum she made the off hand comment to one of her friends (who was male) "Oh my girls here are on a mission tonight, they want to meet some men." His response was something along the lines of "Oh your girls sound desperate!" She then proceeded to give him a piece of her mind about the subject saying that it sounded like a DOUBLE STANDARD to her, because if a man said the same thing about going out to meet women, no one would ever refer to him as desperate, he'd be a player or even THE MAN.

I'm wondering if this is what really men are thinking when I approach them when I'm out? Whenever I go out, I want to meet new people and given the right environment I have no problems approaching someone that interests me in some way. I'll admit like most people the first thing you notice about a person of the opposite sex (or the same sex if that's your thing) is their physical appearance. For me once a person opens their mouth that's the true test for keeping me there (and interested). But, I'm wondering now if I approach them do they automatically think that I am approaching them for just a little "Wham, Bam, Thank you ma'm action?"

I don't think that's EVER the way that I position myself when I'm out and about. In fact I work very hard NOT to be that girl. Is it some sort of threat to their manhood for the woman to make the first approach? Perhaps in the next few months I should fall back a little and let the men do a little more of the chasing. For me going out and making the first move is more about getting to know a new person that I happen to find interesting, not about making him my MAN.

What do you think? I find it interesting that in this day and age, there are still some men who think women who make the first move are desperate. It's also pretty funny because in the end I consider myself old-fashioned and would love it if they were to step up and make the first move, but that never seems to happen with me. Some people told me they feel I'm intimidating (maybe it's the height) or that they think I look mean (so not true). In the end I think it's a balancing act, but I'm curious to hear about your experiences.

Thanks again for the support and comments. And if you need something else to read, check out my friend Brooke's blog http://brookeybabysblogspot.blogspot.com/2009/03/im-flirt.html. Her blog today about "Flirting" inspired my topic today. Take the time to enjoy the rest of your week.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Introspection and investigation

Hello my faithful readers:

I hope that you're having a wonderful day - I certainly am. This morning I was running late and caught a cab to the express train stop and the cab driver didn't have change so he gave me the ride for free. This was so nice and totally unexpected that I hope he receives his blessing to me back in spades. As I was ran from his cab and into the Nostrand Ave. A/C subway station I was able to hop on the train. Even more importantly I completed one of my grad school applications and I have one more to do. That's a big sense of accomplishment for me and now I have to buckle down to complete my last one.

Yesterday one of my friends, Little Miss, read my blog "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" and pointed out something I had never considered. She mentioned that all of my descriptions within the blog were all physical descriptions - nothing about personality. I am carefully thinking about this now, because it's actually something that frustrates me when I am getting to know someone. The fact that they don't want to know about me, my interests or my personality frustrates me. On the other hand if you're getting to know a person in a short social situation (e.g. at a party or out at a bar) it's tough to get beyond merely superficial conversation along the lines of "what's your name, what do you do and are you single?"

Have I been objectifying men as merely physical objects all of this time? I would probably need at least a year of therapy to get to the root of any issues I have on this subject, but Little Miss gave me a homework assignment that I'll be working on over the next few weeks. We attract what we value even if it is disguised as something we do not value according to Little Miss. I happen to agree with this statement wholeheartedly. To help me understand some of my behavior and how I am viewing men she suggested I seriously consider doing the following:

1) Take an inventory of all my relationships (past and present) to determine what brought us together

2) Determine what attracted me to each relationship? Determine what need was met by the relationship?

3) Once involved determine why the relationship didn't work? What was it lacking?

I believe going through this process will help me to identify my issues (if any) so that I'm not constantly repeating the same mistakes (which are merely symptoms of the underlying problems). This will take some time if I do it the right way; at the other end I hope that I'll understand myself a lot better.

I encourage you all to do the same if you're find yourself repeating the same mistakes in your relationships. Thanks again for all the support and comments you give me. I learn something from each of you - even if it is a tough lesson. I appreciate all of the feedback you give me.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Girls just wanna have fun

Hello my faithful readers:



It's Monday and after having such great weather in NYC this weekend I'm wondering where it all went! I hope that you all had a fantastic weekend and took the time out to enjoy yourselves and the great weather (at least a little bit). Enough of my kvetching about the bad weather I'm proclaiming that this week is going to be fantastic! I feel it in my bones...

This weekend was action packed and I started things off with a bang (sort of) by having a catch-up dinner with a friend of mine (Little Miss) who I haven't seen in forever. She has a new guy in her life that sounds like someone who would be a good man and compliment for her personality. After dinner we headed over to The Slipper Room where we had a nice time checking out a little bit of the Burlesque show that night. Little Miss is currently taking Burlesque classes and I'm considering taking this class when I get some extra dough. I think some burlesque acts are VERY sexy and I believe there can ever be too much sexy in my life.

Saturday night I had a great time hanging out with The Roodster and Lil B at Target's 1st Saturday party at the Brooklyn Museum. The place was packed and diverse and although I wasn't necessarily prepared for a night full of electronica/house music, I still managed to have a good time just watching the eye candy walk by and talking to people. I think all of Brooklyn was out and about that night and I met a couple of people (one very friendly guy fresh off the boat from Croatia) and a couple of handsome men who are friends of my friend DigiJay. Digi Jay was there too and I harassed him to introduce me to his people - DJ you never did, but it's all good because I got to meet them later when we bumped into them later on with The Roodster. I was hoping to see them later on at one of the many after parties in the local hood, but they ended up going home and only one of them came back out later that night.

We ended up heading over to Soda Bar which was a no-frills bar, lounge not far from the museum and in their hip-hop room they had one of the best DJ's I've heard in a while (can't recall his name right now). He was playing all of the hip-hop/R&B hits from the mid-late 90's and early 2000's and boy did I shake my groove thang all night long! The room was full of eye candy and all of Brooklyn's finest. I decided to let loose and get my drink on... and on. I got a little tipsy and very friendly with my new friend Mr. Smell Good. I kept tapping him to get his attention and then turning away ( like I was in the 2nd grade I know) and then finally I asked him if he was hot in his coat. I told him he made me hot just seeing him in it and then he finally took it off and we talked for a bit and asked what scent he was wearing and he told me. From then it was ON.

Mr. Smell Good falls into the category of my big weakness when it comes to men. He was cute and he was 6'5. This is my type I guess you could say just because I ALWAYS feel like a woman when I'm with a man this tall. We talked for a bit and I found out that he's 34, lives in Bedstuy not far from where I love, works in the mental health field and he is in a "complicated relationship." Now normally even continuing a conversation with somebody that's in any type of relationship is a BIG no-no for me and I told him that I believe in karma and didn't want to be disrespectful to his relationship no matter what the status is... by the way I HATE that facebook has given validity to the whole complicated relationship status; I think it's BS (either you're together or you're not)!

We continued to get to know each other and I have to say that we had a strong physical attraction if nothing else. Mr. Smell Good and I were all over each other like white on rice and we got into a groove which for me is always a good thing. I'm making this PG, but I'll say that we would be good together doing the horizontal mambo (if our short time together was any sign). I'm not sure I will give him a call even though he gave me his number before he left. His situation sounds way too messy for me to get into right now and although he told me that "It was already too late for his situation before he met me" I don't even want to deal with finding out. I just hope I haven't completely messed my karma too badly by knowingly involving myself in whatever his situation is (no matter how small my part was); I never like to think of myself as trifling and if I heard this story in the context of this being my man all hugged up on some strange chic in the club, I would call the other girl (me) trifling as well as my man and probably leave his a$$.

If I decide that what I want is a "friends with benefits situation" I think Mr. Smell Good is at the top of my list. I was no angel in this situation and I realize that I should probably do some re-evaluating what I want and why I keep ending up in situations that are headed right for "friends with benefits" zone. I had fun this weekend, I blew off some steam with my friends, met some new people and maybe ended the drought I feared so much last week. I realize I still need to firm up in my mind what I want out of my dating experiences, but I also know that it's about having fun throughout this process.

I hope that you all have a fantastic week - I can't wait for what this week has in store for me. I have the feeling that something very good is about to come my way.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Sometimes it's the little things...

Hello My Faithful Readers:


For all of you up here in the great Northeast, I hope you're surviving this mini-blizzard that has hit us! I wasn't prepared at all for it and I must be the only person who didn't pay close attention to the weather reports, because I was shocked to wake up this morning to nearly 8 inches of snow. This weekend was actually pretty low key for me. I felt under-the-weather by the end of last week (cold/sinus) so I ended up going home from work Friday and not leaving my apartment until Sunday, when I met my friends The Roodster and Lil B for dinner, at a lovely new Ethiopian Restaurant called Etai.

I finally heard from Mystervee on late Saturday night (around 11) asking if I was in the city and wanted to meet up. I'm not even sure why I answered the phone that late except to see what he was up to...and to confirm my suspicions that he indeed sees me as an "Afterthought Chic" AKA "Booty Call." When I explained that I was sick he said "Call me when you feel better." Again my problem with this guy is that he just really doesn't seem to care about me as a person, he's more concerned about tapping my A$$. He doesn't know how to treat a woman. You know how I feel about that ladies and gentleman "NEXT!"

The E-card Stalker and I were supposed to have a date on Saturday evening. He'd called me on Friday night to confirm and at that time I told him that I felt like I could still go on the date. By Saturday afternoon I realized that I didn't have the energy to get out of bed and I was sounding like a 13 year old boy whose voice was changing (I think he was afraid of catching what I had too); he suggested that we reschedule for some other time. True to form on Sunday evening he called me to check up on me and sent me a get well e-card from him. It was a nice touch and even though there are things that The E-card Stalker needs to work on as far as phone conversations (I'll get into this later) I have to admit that it was nice to see someone cared enough to check up on me. Quite simply, he knows how to treat a woman.

I put two little updates up today to illustrate the big differences in how these men are going about treating me. I really do believe sometimes a little bit of effort goes a long way in my book and I was impressed by The E-card Stalker even checking on me. My friend The Roodster and I had a discussion about men and relationships at dinner last night and she made a good point. She said that sometimes men don't know how to treat a woman because quite simply they are used to women who don't have any standards or requirements. I'm pretty old-fashioned and have lots and lots of standards. At this point in my life I can't see myself relaxing my standards for anyone. I understand giving a man a shot, (believe me I'm the QUEEN of this!). BUT when it's clear to me from his actions what he really thinks of me, I have no choice for my own sanity, but to keep it moving.

I have to say thank you to everyone for all the love and support and comments you send my way! I appreciate them all and I hope that you will keep them coming. It's really tough to put myself out there in an honest way without having a few critics. I'd like to just clarify the purpose and intent of my blog by saying that it is intended to share with you some of my mistakes, my growth and the journey I'll eventually make as I try to find the right relationship for me. It is not to give a full-blown view or even to exploit any of the men that I happen to go out on dates with. I may beat them up here, but you better believe I'm beating myself up too for my sometimes ridiculous behavior. Thanks again for taking the time to read my blog today and I wish you a wonderful rest of the week!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Platonic Activity Partners?

Hello my faithful readers:

It's Thursday and this week has been low key so far for me. I had a nice dinner with some of my old A&E co-workers K&M. It has been a long time since we got to talk with either of them at any length (I've been at my current job for almost two years now). I'm really looking forward to this weekend because I'll get the chance to catch up with some of my friends and have a 2nd date with The E-Card Stalker (as long as I can shake the cold I seem to be getting).

My friend Brookey broke the news to me that the Youngun (mentioned in a previous blog) has a girlfriend or at least some girl that he wanted to make his Valentine this year. Brookey and I met him at my party a few weeks ago and they realized they know each other from the gym. Apparently he texts her too and thinks that we're all friends (he even told her that I went to Comic Con-- go figure)! I was just surprised that I came up in their conversation with each other, but he never mentioned to me that he was keeping in touch with Brookey.

I haven't talked much about Youngun since the time we met, but we had a few phone conversations and he texts me almost like clockwork every other day or so. For example last night I received this text from him " Hey what's up miss...hope all is well with ya." Sometimes he texts me asking what I'm doing and despite my hatred for texting full conversations I respond to his texts. He texts and calls because he needs someone to help him get put on and realizing that now, I guess I can't knock his hustle, we did meet at a networking party for those working in the TV industry.

Without realizing it I've stumbled into new territory for me --a category of friends called Platonic Activity Partners. For me this is just another way to say I've been put into the FRIEND ZONE. For men this is normally the kiss of death when they realize that a woman has put them into this category if they are trying to pursue her. Normally I'm the one to put men into the friend zone so it was a little unsettling for me to realize that I had been put into the friend zone. Now I've never been one of those women who has a problem being platonic with my male friends and actually I'm more comfortable with men than I am with women anyway (most of my closest friends are men), but I know that many people (mostly men) feel that men and women can't be just friends in the platonic sense.

Realizing that I was the Youngun's new Platonic Activity Partner also made me realize that my radar is a little bit off as to realizing when men are interested in me for a relationship. At this point I'm not sure I can trust my own interpretations of the actions of the men I come into contact with, because my radar seems to be off quite a bit recently. Although it's disconcerting I think this is a good thing for me, because I'll be more cautious and ask more questions moving forward. How many of you have stumbled into the Platonic Activity Partners category without realizing it?

I hope that you all enjoy the rest of your week! I highly recommend you go outside today if you're living in NYC because our weather is supposed to hit at least 50 today! I know that I'm planning to go outside and find a little sunshine and get some fresh air.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

It's Friday and I have a date! (I think)

Hello my faithful readers:

Happy Friday to you! As usual I'm very happy to see this weekend come. This week in general has been quite busy for me at work and I feel a sense of accomplishment for the first time in weeks. My weekend is shaping up to be busier than I planned. I have a date tonight, a date tomorrow and on Sunday I'll be celebrating Brookey's birthday with the girls at the
Ne-yo/Musiq / Jazmine Sullivan concert at Radio City Music Hall. I am super excited about life right now and I keep pinching myself, because while the world seems to be crumbling around us all, things for me personally are moving in the right direction.

Yesterday I finally heard from Mystervee after his trip to London. He texted me (apparently our little conversation about my preference for phone calls didn't register at all) asking me how my day was going. I texted him back telling him I was headed to French class and said I'd call him later. I did call him back (HUGE ACCOMPLISHMENT FOR ME) when I got home after class and we had a nice conversation. I learned a little bit more about him and if I'm completely honest with you guys, I like him a little bit more after our chat last night. He continues to surprise me, but the one thing I get from him is that he seems to be an adventure junkie. This is my own little mini-profile of him based on the little I know about him; he's taken flying lessons before he rides a motorcycle and is into action sports.

I've heard him mention to me twice now in separate conversations that he wants someone spontaneous. I asked him to explain what he meant by that yesterday and he said "I want someone who doesn't take forever to get ready and he doesn't want to hear about her problems with her hair." Now for me this doesn't necessarily mean a person is spontaneous. However, I get the feeling that he's a last minute plans kind of guy. Last minute planning goes totally against my nature although I love being spontaneous as much as the next person. Personally I need to have a general outline of my plans and activities so that I can fit in all of the things I have to get done on a daily basis.

This morning I received a lovely early morning (8:30 AM) text from him saying "Sorry for babbling so much last night but I would like 2 c u," My response text was "I want to c u too, how about Saturday? U weren't babbling." I have mentioned before on this blog that I like to have my dates planned ahead - even if I didn't have another date tonight, I probably would have insisted on doing something on my next available free night. We're meeting up tomorrow for our second date. We have not confirmed what we're doing, but I want him to come up with something this time. I'll admit that pushing the date to my preferred day was a small win for me and my ego. I hope that if we decide to date each other more we can find a compromise for scheduling our time together that makes both of us happy.

Tonight I'm supposed to have a coffee date with The E-card Stalker and I am working to keep a positive attitude about it. He called me last night and left me a voicemail message (when I was in transit from French class) asking me to call him back to confirm our plans. I called him back, but never heard from him. If I don't hear from him today I'm going home after work. I'll let you know on Monday what happens with him.

Thanks again for all the love and support for the blog. I love hearing from you all and sharing your experiences with me. I hope that you have a wonderful weekend. Keep warm this weekend if you're up here in NYC - it's supposed to be cold!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

I hate texting

Hello Faithful Readers:

Hope that you're all enjoying this fine Tuesday morning. I have to say that you guys are some of the most supportive people I've ever met. Thanks for all of the advice and support you have given me along the way and here's where I encourage you all to keep it coming, because I LOVE hearing from you.

Last night I went out with one of my co-workers, Ms. Vega, to a lovely networking event for a group called Supernodes at a very sexy wine bar called CLO in the Time Warner Center. It was a futuristic experience and eventually I'd like to go back under less crowded circumstances. I felt like I was at my high school reunion because I saw a bunch of my old co-workers from IDJ and it was great seeing that everyone is doing so well now.

One of the people I met, a great guy named T, and I ended up getting into a discussion about women and their relationships with men. I'm not sure how we even got on the subject so quickly, but he said that women need to tell men what it is they want, simply because men aren't mind-readers and all women are different. One thing he said really resonated with me "Women always have it easier because with men if you get the general [owners] manual for a man, you basically have an understanding of how to deal with most men. With women each one requires a different 300 page [owners] manual. I'd never really thought of myself or any of my female friends in these terms and it made me realize that perhaps he's on to something. I know that I'm definitely like any of my friends when it comes to dating and relationships.

T also brought up something last night that I had been complaining about for a while now. He said that texting has made dating life much easier for men. Men can send a mass text messages to all of their girls and it makes us ladies feel our guy is actually thinking about us. Texting also offers the guys the opportunity to get assistance from their boys on what to say in the text. Plus texting allows us all to take our time in responding versus a phone or in person conversation.

His comments caused me to think about my own current situation. Last Friday the day after our first coffee date Mystervee texted me to say he enjoyed the meeting. Then he continued to hold a full text conversation until after a few exchanges it ended. I complained to my friend Digi Jay and he gave me a piece of advice that blew my mind. Quite simply he said to text MV with the following message: CALL ME. This advice was mind boggling for me, because as outspoken as I normally am, I'd never even considered saying something about my issues with texting. Now I probably should explain that my biggest issue with texting is more about having a full on conversation via text. I don't mind if you use it to pass along quick information or confirm a meeting time or something along those lines, but if your text requires a several text message back and forth exchange; personally I'd prefer it if you just picked up the phone to call me. So I suffered through lots of texting during the weekend and finally when we were talking [on the phone] last night I finally told him that I hated texting and preferred to have conversations on the phone if we couldn't see each other.

You know what? I actually felt much better after I got that off my chest. Now we'll see what happens with MV after my comment, I'm hoping he was listening and not just hearing what I said. I have a feeling that we'll be good friends at the end of our experience if nothing else, but I won't be nearly as afraid to say what I mean with any of the guys I date. Now I just have to break all of my new friends of their texting habits. Yep the Youngun is also a big text abuser!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

At Last...

Hello my faithful readers:

I'm quite excited because today folks I have a date! Yes let me repeat that again I HAVE A DATE! Whoo hoo! Ya! Hallelujah! It has been a few months since my last date so of course I'm sure you can tell I'm more than a little bit excited about this development. (I'm not counting the speed dating as an actual date for those of you who were wondering)

I decided to give Mystervee from Blacksingles.com another chance and he shot me an e-mail this morning proposing we meet up today. Even though I have french class tonight I said why the hell not?!? It'll be quick because of my class. A coffee date is a great low pressure way for both of us to determine whether it's worth pursuing a much longer date later on down the road.

Now the only concern I have personally is that I'm not necessarily as dressed up as I'd like to be on a first date. In fact setting up a date on the same day goes against my control freak nature as I ranted about in one of my earlier blogs, but I'm trying to open myself up to new things. I know that I'll have a great time no matter what, but again I wish that I'd known before I left my house this morning that I was going to be going on a date today. Thank goodness I'm at least wearing my skinny jeans and a decent sweater.

Mystervee sounded nice on the phone and he mentioned that he used to live in the Upper East Side (UES) and so far his voice was nice (no outrageous accents to speak of). Just a few of the basics about him - he's 37, lives in Jersey City, 6'3" and is an engineer and has no kids. He also laughed at a few of my jokes today so we'll see how we click in person. I'm praying that he actually looks his pictures because if he doesn't or he's actually 15 years older than those pics indicate then I'm going to be sorely disappointed.

Now that I'm getting the first date out of the way I'm working to get even more lined up. I'll make sure to provide a synopsis of our date on tomorrow's blog. Wish me luck!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Too picky?

Hello to all of you my faithful readers:

I could use an injection of energy today after my whirlwind tour of a couple of networking events last night. I consider last night a success as I met quite a few people that could help me out on both the business and personal levels. It was also great getting to hang out with one of my co-workers J-Dub and our mutual friend EB! J-Dub is a lot of fun and who knew she could shake her groove thang with the best of us!

I'll talk about one guy in particular that struck my fancy last night at the VMix/Buzz networking event (although I met a few). We'll call him N.O. Lawyer because I found out in conversation that he works as a financial lawyer (still have no idea what he really does), hasn't watched a music video in years (WHAT? for those of you that know me well it's pretty much a staple for me) and he's into sports. He seems nice enough and we had a bit of witty banter in our 15 minute conversation. I'm realizing that on all most of my initial conversations with men I never got to the most important information like is he single? So if we have a follow-up conversation I plan to get to the bottom of that mystery immediately. I liked his personality so much that I think he'd make a good friend for me; he was just such a chill and laughed at some of my jokes.

Now on to the real reason for this blog. Now I mentioned in yesterday's blog that I've been corresponding with a few people online at Blacksingles.com. Well in the spirit of being open minded I have relaxed my rigid standards just a bit, but I have to draw the line somewhere and I think my line stops right at - Poorgrammarspellingville. I also draw the line at people who seem to have stalker tendancies before I even meet them. So for your reading pleasure here are a few excerpts from a couple of my potential suitors:

Meet Mystervee (posted as sent):

Right now I'm taking class to keep busy while i have sometime off from work. My last project i worked on was Citifield the new Shea stadium.
My job is pretty cool considering all good things come to a end but it 's the camaraderie's of meeting new pple and no matter what it's always a better project on the horizon!

In my time i usually purchase property for a fast buck! I'm good with my hand's so it really come natural. I went to a auction on sat to see the average home now sells for 50K wow!

So when I'm not doing either I'm on my motorcycle or travel ling with a good book. I'm headed to London next week to catch with some friend's.

Meet dadoo14 (stalker who also has bad spelling and grammer errors):

Hie my new friend,
i made two attempted to see if you were on, but unfortunately you weren't. I hope you have a good time in those events, please make sure you don't have too much, because you were the only one i expected to have some fun with. You know i truely want to be in contact with you. I miss you so very much, i can not wait to be just there for you and you for me. Good night, sleep well and if somehow you have a chance to come online, leave me a message.

Now I pose this question to all of you my dear readers-- am I being too picky? I really think the first online guy Mystervee is attractive physically and he seems interesting (albeit unemployed). Can I forgive his lack of spell check and poor sentence structure and just make sure we never write to each other again? The stalker guy makes me nervous and I sent him a note saying he was making me uncomfortable because we didn't know each other well enough to miss each other. What do you think? I'm looking forward to seeing some of your comments on this one!

Night on the town...

Hello my faithful readers:

First off I have to say TGIF! This week started off pretty quietly for me, hence my lack of blog activity. Now I'm just focused on getting myself out there again now that things are starting to warm up. I kicked things off with a TV Industry Networking party for which I was a part of the host committee. Prior to heading to the party MILF and I had a lovely dinner at Ditch Plains down in Tribeca. The food was good and we both thought it would be appropriate for future dates.

I expected the party to be a low key lounge type affair, but it turned out to be a pretty sexy party. I mean full of lots of beautiful people including, Adrien Grenier of Entourage fame. The line to get into the party was wrapped around the corner; for the first half of the night I was running around like a chicken with its head cut-off pulling all of my friends in from the long line when they texted me. Once everyone was in and had received their VIP passes I was able to take a breath and grab a drink at the bar.

As a part of the Host Committee I made it a point to work the room as much as possible. One thing about me is that when I'm in the mood I have no problems small talking with people no matter who they are, but the big BUT is I have to be in the mood. Despite the irritations I'd experienced at work that darkened my mood right before the party I was ready to have a good time. I met a few people over the course of the night and one guy really piqued my interest a guy we'll call "Youngun" because I found out later from a friend of mine that he's only like 25 or 26 years old. Can anyone say Cougar???

To be honest I really don't recall much of my conversation with "Youngun" because he was just so beautiful to me. I'd noticed him when I first walked into the party and thought he was security because he spent so much time standing all by himself near the entrance to the party. I never really saw him talking to anyone the entire time I was over that way, but when he finally made it into the back part of the room I stopped him to talk to him. I started out by asking him how he heard about the party. He explained one of his friends who works in PR for a jewelry firm had invited him, but then bailed last minute, but he decided to come. Now this entire time I'm trying to be cool and light, but in the end I was the aggressor in our little few minute chat. I mentioned to him that I thought he was very attractive (SO UNLIKE ME), then offered to introduce him to some of my friends so he wouldn't be so lonely.

One of my other friends DJD ended up walking over and apparently knows Youngun (or at least Youngun said he knew him). I left them together talking and continued to work the room, but before leaving him I handed him my business card and I told him coyly that I hoped he used it. I ended up chatting with my friend Brooke later that night and she said she finally figured out where she knew him from. Apparently they take a boxing class together, but she also broke the news to me that he was young too. Before he left for the night he made sure to say bye and give me a nice hug goodbye. Then this morning I woke up and couldn't remember his name, but I did remember how cute I thought he was... SIGH.

Throughout the course of the night I made a point to speak to as many men (and people) as possible and I exchanged business cards with quite a few. A couple have already dropped me nice e-mails or phone calls, most pertaining to some business opportunities, but all in I hope I can turn some of my new acquaintances into friends at least.

Tonight my friend JF and I are going to see Michael Ian Black at Caroline's and then I'm planning to hit up another party if I still have the energy afterwards. I also have a couple of other parties to go to this weekend - it is definitely birthday season now! I wish you all a safe and happy weekend. Please try stay warm if you're here in the NYC area. Next week I have a few plans lined up so there won't be as much lag in blog activity.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

PS - I haven't followed up with any of my speed daters nor have any called me yet either. I think I'll try it again soon with a more targeted group though.

Try try again...

Hello my faithful readers:

First of all I have to say TGIF! This week feels like it has been one of the longest in my lifetime. I took a break from writing the blog yesterday because quite frankly I had a bit of writers block and not much to report. I think I needed a little bit of an attitude adjustment and I plan to do that by keeping myself plenty busy over the next few weeks.

Just to update you on my plight last night I went out to a party for Surface Magazine at Operation Boutique down in Soho. It was super crowded and full of beautiful and surprisingly tall people. My friend C and I crammed our bodies into the space, waded through the clothing and bodies to head to the most important part of the party - the bar. After grabbing drinks we pushed our way over to the coat check where we realized we probably wouldn't stay long because the place was seriously packed in so much that we felt like they were definitely violating fire safety codes. We small talked with a few people at the party, but all in the experience was "physically crushing" because of all the bodies. Before we left, I exchanged cards with a nice gentleman who works in real estate. He gave us a few suggestions of other parties to hit before the end of the night, but we both needed to eat by that point so we went to Bar 89.

While dining at Bar 89 C told the story of how she and her boyfriend met. She has unwittingly convinced me that I probably should move back to Georgia to meet the man of my dreams. She's known her guy since she was in elementary school and they met and reconnected several times before getting together because they have mutual friends. I know that many of my friends have met their significant others through mutual friends. Something to think about eh? On a random note I was excited to see that the actor who was "Uncle Phil" in the Fresh Prince of Bel Air was also eating there too.

My weekend looks like it will be action packed! Tonight I'm going SPEED DATING! I'm quite excited about tonight because speed dating appeals to my dislike for wasting time. What's better than spending 3 minutes in person with a guy to determine if you'd like to pursue another longer date? There might be other better options, but at this point the idea sounds pretty good to me. So as I brush up on my 60 second pitch (or maybe I should make it 30 seconds?) wish me luck tonight!

Here's what I have on tap for the rest of the weekend. Saturday night I will be hitting up my friend Bianca's potluck birthday celebration. Sunday I'm heading to a cigar bar to celebrate my friend Paul's birthday. Just a note about the whole cigar bar thing- I'm definitely NOT a smoker and I'm not even sure how long I'll be able to stand the smoke in the bar, but one of my friends said that she went to one recently and met lots of handsome men there. As I have mentioned before I'll give all legal dating methods, destinations, etc. a shot (at least once).

So have a great weekend! For all of you NYC'ers stay warm the temp is supposed to drop again tomorrow. The cold always makes me lazy and that's when I blow off plans the most so I'm really going to do my best to make it out to everything I've written today. Thanks again for all of the support and advice. Stay warm and have a great weekend!


Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

PS - Still haven't heard from the bodybuilder guy, but surprisingly many of you thought I should at least give him another call, so I might swallow my pride and call one last time.