What's the difference?

Hello my faithful readers:


First off all HAPPY FRIDAY to you! I'm so glad that it's the end of this week of late nights in the office; plus I seem to be developing some sort of cold/sinus issue that's getting worse. Now I'm working on building up my energy for all of my weekend plans. Tonight I'd rather go home, put my PJ's on and sleep the whole weekend through. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately for my social life) I have plans both tonight and tomorrow. Tonight's plans include heading over to Hoboken, NJ to celebrate one of my former co-workers birthday's at the new W Hotel. Tomorrow I have a full day of hanging out with Mr. Ex (our plans are still TBD, but I think we're going to do the NYC tourist experience).

Today I wanted to talk about some of my own prejudices. I received correspondence from two different men who happened to fall into the same age category (on different dating websites). I responded to both of them in a nice way, but I'd actually consider going out on a date with only one of them, even though they both seem to be pretty similar on the surface (both writers).

Bachelor #1 (50 years old lives in Brooklyn):

I really don't think it's a great idea to be describing mysef, but then it would be tough for you to get an idea of what kind of person I am, wouldn't it?So I will say that I am fun, funny, sweet, open, intense, smart, curious, bookish but outgoing, adventurous, musical, literate, patient, well travelled, with a ton of life experience (ok, so sometimes I just need to learn things the hard way). I've lived in some interesting parts of the world, and I try to keep an open mind about different ways of living. I appreciate people who are open-minded, nonjudgemental, curious, compassionate, funny, and I hope I am most of those things. On my great days, I am.I do not get angry, and I believe it's really, really important to discuss openly what's on our minds and in our hearts.I'm curious about people and how they live and what they think. I've lived in a few countries and have been humbled by the experience. I love exploring new places, meeting new people, and just being turned on by life.I am sexy, affectionate, generous, and open minded, but I can be a pain in the butt sometimes (i hope in a nice way).i am very much into music, writing, books, the outdoors, food, cooking, and am adventurous and always looking to explore: new music, writers, places, meeting new people...you name it.I am amicably divorced and a father of 2 amazing daughers who live in another state with their mother, but I am a very active father.I am looking for someone who can appreciate my good qualities and hopefully be patient with my lesser ones. Someone who is independent, bright, open, curious, and ready for anything (and for me).

Bachelor #2 (51 years old lives in NJ)

I'm a writer, author, poet, playwright, drummer, story teller, motivational speaker and an international traveler. I teach Afrikan Studies, specializing in ancient Kemet (Egypt). I do ancient Kemet meditation, and i am a Grand Master in Afrakan Martial Arts.
I would like to meet someone who is Afrikan centered or loves Afrika and Afrikan people, educated, in shape, concerned about health, and loves the outdoors. Also opened minded, willing to think outside the box. Please have a photo if you want a response!

Now I have to admit that my responses were mostly based on the pictures both of the men had up on their profiles. I simply found one to be a little more attractive than the other guy. I must disclose that one guy was white and the other black.

Initially, I wasn't attracted to Bachelor #2 at all based on his picture. I have to wonder why I could consider giving the first guy a chance, but not Bachelor #2, simply because I thought he was too old for me. Seriously my reason for immediately dismissing Bachelor #2, the fact that he was 51. This now seems pretty irrational to me and I realize I have some HUGE prejudices. If I'm honest with myself I'll admit that the fact that his picture has him in full Afrikan garb, (dread)locks and with all the language about wanting to meet someone who is Afrikan centered freaked me out a little. Yes, I'm a woman of color (African American descent), but I wouldn't consider myself to be especially militant. Truth be told, Bachelor #2 seems like that type of guy that I might see hanging out on the streets up in Harlem on Brooklyn selling incense. Nothing wrong with that type of man, just not someone I'd normally associate with on any level (friendship or otherwise).

Bachelor #1 is a divorcee with two kids. Dating someone with kids is usually someone I wouldn't consider seeing, but the older I get the harder I realize it's possible to stick to that rule. I'll admit the thing that appealed to me most about Bachelor #1 was the fact that he seems well traveled, hey he's even lived in several foreign countries. This is a guy I could see myself be-friending if I were out having drinks and met him that way.

I haven't even gotten into the issue of age. I have been questioning whether it's really appropriate for me to consider dating someone in their 50's. When I was younger (22) I dated someone who was much older (45) , but now I wonder what is really appropriate? I know that I'm a relatively mature 30, but getting into the territory of dating someone in their 50's makes me nervous. To put this into context my mother is 51 years old. So if I open the door to dating someone who is in their 50's, for me it would be just like dating one of my parents.

I have to admit that I puzzle even myself sometimes with my contradictory, irrational thought processes about my issues. I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this subject. What's appropriate? Do you have any prejudices (or as I like to call them preferences) that you won't ever change? How often do you find yourself judging a book by its cover? I sure have a lot to think about, but this is all helpful for my journey (I hope).

Thanks again for taking the time to read the blog today and I hope that you'll become one of my followers or leave comment if you like what you're reading here. If you're in the northeast make sure you head outside this weekend to enjoy some of the 80 degree weather we're supposed to have tomorrow and Sunday. Have a great weekend!

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

Stop being an IDIOT

Good morning my faithful readers:

I have to start off by making comment about how historic today is- Can you believe that the day is finally here when Barack Hussein Obama officially becomes the 44th President of the United States of America. Wow! This is so exciting to me and I hope to find a love like the President and his first lady share. I was touched and awed as I saw them getting ready to go to the church service and what struck me most of all was the fact that although today is probably one of the most important days of his life - he still went to open the door for Michelle before going to the other side to open his own door. I was blown away by this small gesture and I have to say that for me. I look up to the First Couple as a pattern for how I'd like to conduct myself in my next serious relationship.

Now back to the topic at hand...On Friday when I last left you all I'd had one of the most disappointing first phone calls ever. On the bright side (as I choose to see it!) dude let his crazy out early on in the game so that I wasted no time on him, which for me is a HUGE plus in my eyes. Needless to say I sent him an e-mail over the weekend politely letting him know that I didn't think we had enough in common for us to meet in person.

Later that day I got a nice surprise in my inbox and what might this surprise be you're asking yourself? An e-mail from one of the guys that I'd responded to earlier that week (grudgingly) I might add. I say grudgingly because although the guy seems great in e-mail (he meets my height requirements, very attractive, seems to have mastered the English language) I was already making up reasons to not respond to him.

Here's a little sample of my inner monologue that I am now actively fighting back on a daily basis:

He's a personal trainer and says that he believes the body is a temple

I think that he will judge me and all of the brownies, cupcakes, cookies, candies and mac n cheese that I love to stuff myself with so why even bother trying. He will just judge me and all my crap foods and my doughy body.

His email was nice and well written, but it wasn't the wittiest e-mail I received

He must be boring if his e-mail to me is boring... plus he's a personal trainer, what would we have in common since I HATE the gym?

He was born in Jamaica

Uh oh - He's Jamaican! I don't know about this... my track record with the Caribbean men so far hasn't been so great. They are all possessive and clingy and I just don't have time for that!

His name is...

Corny! Who has a name like that! Did he change it to that? Plus he's a bodybuilder...I just don't know if I can date anyone that purposefully made their name into something so corny to benefit their career. (Unless his parents did this to him.)

I'll let you all in on a little secret -- I'm GREAT at talking myself out of a good thing. As my friend MILF threatens me nearly everyday at work I will end up becoming a crazy cat lady if I don't stop it (plain and simple). I believe that so far the recipe for my single life of late has been 1/3 self preservation, 1/3 laziness and the final 1/3 me being an IDIOT. So my pledge to you today my dear readers is that I will stop being a lazy, idiot! Yes I said it - I pledge here and now that I will stop being a LAZY IDIOT! So if you happen to see me talking stepping into the lazy idiot zone please feel free to gently nudge me out of it. Especially now that my country and the world at large is changing to a place that needs me to be an energized, more open minded, loving, human being.

So I called the guy (whom I will now refer to as bodybuilder) last night, he seemed to be pretty normal and we tentatively made plans for a coffee date on tomorrow (Wednesday). I'll let you know how that turns out later this week, but for now I'm clamping down on the negative crap that cycles through my brain.

Mwuah,

Georgia Peach

P.S. Thanks for all of you who are leaving comments and signed up to follow my blog! I really appreciate all of the love and advice you guys are sharing with me. If you're reading this and like what you're reading feel free to become a follower!