Monday, May 4, 2009

Cutting off your friends...

Hello my faithful readers:

I had hoped to write something in the blog before today, but things are busier now for me at work so you'll probably see me a little less frequently because once work gets busy, my social and dating life tend to suffer. That means there is MUCH less for me to write about here in my dating blog. Plus my mind is focused on making my move to Belgium and I feel too guilty to waste another person's time when I know I'll be moving away in the next three months.

In my blog last week I mentioned that Mr. Ex and I decided that it was best that we remain friends instead of trying to continue to date each other. I was ok with this decision and even felt relieved by it all, but was quite surprised to get a phone call from him on Thursday evening that puzzled me. First of all he seemed to think that I'd agreed to have sex with him (or do the "nice thing" as he referred to it on the call) after I returned from my trip to Georgia with my family. I found this whole thing humorous and told him I was sorry that he'd misinterpreted something I'd said, because this was definitely NOT the truth. Remember my little 90 day rule? Well if I were still counting we'd still be on just day 41 right now.

Mr. Ex wanted to get into what made things go off track during our last date, but kept saying "No I'll ask you about it when you get back from Georgia." That whole tactic frustrated me and I told him he could ask me what he wanted to ask while he had me on the phone. I told him that I was disappointed by his lack of decision making skills on the date and gave him a few of the examples I blogged about the other day. He said "well I'm not really that way all the time, I just use that as a way of getting to know a person." I told him that although that might be his tactic I've never seen him make a decision in all of our dates (4 to be exact) and it wasn't fair to me because I didn't get the chance to see him make a decision. I really think his excuse is BS, personally because I think the whole "Whatever you like method of decision making" is LAZY. After that he had to get off the phone. He said he'd try to call me back, but I was non-committal because I told him I needed to get to bed early and still had some packing to do for my trip early the next morning. Before we ended the call he kept saying that he felt things were fine with us and that we would get back to normal (HA). I'll admit this was the part that creeped me out the most because I felt like he hadn't listened to a thing I'd just said.

Mr. Ex called me back a couple of times that night. He left a couple of messages for me (STALKER), then that Friday night he called and left a message for me saying that he saw a few phone numbers pop up with my area code that he thought might have been me. Needless to say it wasn't me and I really don't think I need to have another conversation with him anymore. I know that many of you are thinking that I'm a GIANT A$$HOLE, but I think it's best that I don't lead him on anymore. I feel like his perception of what was going on was completely different from mine. I was trying to remain nice throughout this all, but sometimes nice isn't what the situation needs and it's best not to maintain contact. Sometimes it just isn't in the cards to remain friends - especially when you can't agree on the boundaries of your friendship.

I strongly suspect that the only reason Mr. Ex had his change of heart is because he felt he invested too much time/money into our situation to not get the payoff (sex with me). There might be other reasons, but I truly believe that's the main reason for his change of heart. Thanks for reading and I hope that I'll have some new stories for you soon.


Georgia Peach


E.Payne said...

It may have been time invested. It may have simply been ego. You went away and he had a few days to mull it all over. He probably decided on his own that he wasn't done, regardless of what you two agreed to (men are often driven by challenge - even when there is no challenge we might convince ourselves there's one there) and so he changed his strategy, got a bit more aggressive since he may have felt he has less to lose now and now it has become what it is.

Just a thought.

Georgia Peach said...

Ahhh the male ego is such a curious thing. I hadn't thought about it like that, but you're right it's true he could just see a new challenge and feel like he has nothing to lose by putting on the full court press.

Anonymous said...

i definitely think that hi ego has been bruised...basically he thinks that after everything he has out into this you still dont't want HIM?? HOW COULD THAT BE??

he's a "catch" so don't you forget it!

...and if you would just let him hit it, you'll know just how much of a "catch" he is.

i don't think you are an what you need to do to better yourself!

Brooke said...

Black History huh? I hear you man.

And I agree with everyone else, his ego wouldn't allow YOU to stop seeing HIM on that level. He'll get over it, do what's best for you. Sounds to be like you gave it a fair chance and that was that. You're about to make a big move, focus on YOU and get ready to have fun!

Yummy Mammy said...

Bad ex - stay clear and leave him be with his over inflated ego xx